Back at the Elimination Warehouse, Tahnee says she would have preferred that Franky went, as she was more of a threat. Adele says it was sad to see Laura go, but they are used to the fact that someone has to go each week. Seriously, what’s with Adele and those comments? She gets them every episode. She then goes on to say that she’s glad it’s someone going, because it is a competition. Clare says that now that they are down to the final 6, so they can all taste the prize. The next morning, Lola, Tahnee, and Franky all go for a walk/run, and get to a log where they all sit and talk. Clare’s “Marcia Brady” routine annoys the girls-as Tahnee says, “brush your hair 10 times on this side, 10 times on this side…” Back at the house, Clare is, well, brushing her hair. They still haven’t gotten all the letters from that Sarah Mail off. Adele is picking at her ingrown hairs, and at the rock, Tahnee (who is braiding Lola’s hair) says that at first Adele was a bit scared, but “now that she’s gotten some good feedback it’s gone to her big old boring head!”. Then it’s a whinge session about Cassi’s walk, which looks like a “drunken mess” as Lola demonstrates. Back in the garage at the house, Cassi is…hip hop dancing? Oy. Later, Franky goes out to the pool and there’s a bottle with a Sarah Mail inside. She naturally calls the other screaming girls outside, who are oh-so-excited about the message in a bottle. “Big brands mean big bucks. Don’t let your message get lost today” All the girls are stumped, but Adele thinks it may be a commercial. They go to the Sheraton on the Park, and are met upstairs by Charlotte. She tells the girls that modeling is about the brands that they represent, and they will be acting as representatives of Virgin Air’s new V Australia service-know your stuff about the brand, all right. Charlotte then says that she will be in the boardroom, and there will be some tricky questions asked of them! Ah yes, this must mean that it’s media week-in where the models learn how to deal with various forms of the media. Who can forget the fake paparazzi in season 3?

Charlotte then tells the girls that everything they need to know is in the pamphlet-and to make it more official, they all have V Australia outfits. Charlotte tells them to memorize the “dot points” and get the outfits on, as she will see them in the boardroom. As the girls study, Clare says that they were not only going to be asked questions about V Australia, but they were going to be asked personal questions as well. They all split up and go to memorize the stuff, which Tahnee says is a LOT of dot points! Now I did drama in high school and everything, and memorizing stuff in a half hour is difficult. They all want to impress Charlotte. Their outfit is a white collared button-down, a khaki high-waisted skirt, a skinny red belt, and…hose. Seriously, I want to report anybody I see wearing hose to the fashion police. Tights are okay, but hose? Fuck no. Lola is first up, and she explains that there are 10 people in there, staring at her, as well as Charlotte, and they have to go through the list about V Australia. She starts on the pitch, which essentially is crafting Virgin Blue as the first long-haul from Sydney to L.A.. Then the personal questions start, and one journalist says it’s great that there is somebody who is plus-sized. (OH NO SHE DIDN’T!) She then goes the tactful route and says that she never saw herself as plus, even though she is the biggest girl in the competition. Lucy Chesterton (from Woman’s Day) says that it’s a question she is going to need to get used to. Back in the conference room, Lola is getting emotional, saying that it took her by surprise, although she thought she handled it well. I definitely have to agree there. That’s one thing she is showing-tact. Between that and the nude photo scandal…you are set. Lauren Smelcher (from Cosmo) says that brand ambassadors don’t usually talk about their personal lives, but it can happen.

A bit of an aside: Nowadays, very few models are true “brand ambassadors”. The only ones that usually are that way are cosmetics brands, and then Victoria’s Secret. In India, however, it’s not the models, but it’s the stars-both male and female-who endorse everything from suitcases to mobile phones to shoes and E-Bikes. The way that a brand sees it is that if they have a big name endorsing the product, it will sell more. Many of the stars though make the mistake of taking everything they see-however some are more selective, like Aishwarya Rai, who has Longines (watches) and L’Oreal (beauty), Sonam Kapoor, who has L’Oreal, and so forth.

Anywhoo, Tahnee is up next, and she says that she did really well….not. Alex Needs (from Woman’s Day) says that if every press conference had a Tahnee, the world would be a better place. He goes on to say that V Australia would make headlines…for all the wrong reasons. Mistake number one? Speaking more about Victoria’s Secret. One of the other reporters asks her a question about her ideal brand, and she says VS, then Alex asks if she would be more comfortable wearing VS lingerie and she says yes. One of the other reporters calls her on it, asking her if she should have been talking about VS considering she’s a V Australia brand ambassador. Let’s just say, it’s painful. Charlotte and one of the other reporters are laughing their asses off, and Tahnee? She’s scarred by the media. Clare is next, and she says that they all looked like idiots with no idea what the hell they were doing-and she is thankful it’s not a real magazine interview, because she would be embarrassed. One of the reporters asks her if she is a little prissy for the modeling world, with Clare responding that she doesn’t feel like she is prissy. Shelly Horton (from the Sun Herald) says that “Everything about her just SCREAMS prissy”. Shelly then asks her if she has ever had a boyfriend, and Clare says that “Boys are stupid”. Cameron Bayley (from Optus TV magazine) says that the girls gave him enough quotes to write dozens of feature articles. Franky is then asked about the “3-3-3″ seating configuration and she says that it’s their little secret-”if I told you, I’d have to kill you”. They are not impressed-Aletha McHalick (from NW magazine) says that death threats are not a way to get journalists on your side. She continues to flounder when asked about mood lighting, and Charlotte is none too impressed, saying that none of the girls captured the essence of V Australia (wide seats in economy, entertainment on every seat) and so forth. Cassi is next, and Sarah Grant (from Who magazine) describes her as the biggest disaster. That’s our Cassi! She is then asked about her smoking-and she says she started 6 years ago. She would be 10. That’s just a little wrong, IMO. Kelli Armstrong (from OK! magazine) sees right through the bullshit and would put the fact that she lied in the article. Adele is the last one up, and Shelly asks her the truth about Cassi-and it proved that Cassi lied (Charlotte is horrified). Charlotte then rounds up the girls and says that they should be glad it’s not a real press conference, and that none of them would be good ambassadors for V Australia or Virgin Blue. She then gives the girls advice-talk only about that brand, keep answers contained, and so forth. She then tells Cassi not to lie, because the media will find out the truth, then tells Clare that she didn’t handle the “prissy” thing right. Clare says the lesson was valuable, telling them that she needs to be less rude towards the media. Charlotte then says that next time they are faced with the media, it will be for real-as there are only 6 of them left. I smell a challenge…Charlotte then says that a lesson isn’t a lesson if you don’t learn anything, and “lambs to the slaughter? Absolutely.”

The girls, after changing back into their street clothes, go down to the lobby and there is a little star displayer thingy with a Sarah Mail inside, which Tahnee reads: “A designer is only as good as the star who wears her clothes. Who will shine the brightest this week?” Adele immediately figures out that it’s going to be a red carpet, and Tahnee says that they are going to be ambassadors for the designer they are representing. Oh, and Adele? Get some petals-the headlights are on. The next day, the girls are met at B2 Studios by Sarah and Pease, and they think it’s a challenge but it turns out to be a photo shoot. Pease says that it’s a very special one, and it’s very real. Sarah says that this week is all about being more than models, and when they get out into the real world there is more than just hair, makeup, dresses. Sometimes the best things aren’t all about them-and the photoshoot is a special one: the photos will be auctioned off on the AusNTM website to benefit Fashion Targets Breast Cancer. Sarah says that the charity, which was founded by fashion types, has brought in over $40 million AUD (Australian Dollars) globally, and that it is specifically for research in women under 45. Clare is excited to be working with the charity, that’s for sure. Pease then brings in the photographers, Denis Montalbetti and Gay Campbell, who have shot Bill Gates and Yoko Ono, among others. This week, it’s See Models Jump! An idea stolen from US Vogue oh, every issue, with David Sims. God how I hate those jumping editorials, but at least they cut Eugenia Volodina out of the 2004 models issue. That person is more manly than Lola-and people say that Lola is the manliest of the model wannabes. Anywhoo, it’s tough because of all the elements that have to be involved. Pease then says that some of Australia’s top designers have donated gowns for the girls to wear. Clare is wearing Collette Dinnigan, Tahnee is wearing Akira Isogawa, Adele is wearing Kit Willow, Franky is wearing Sass & Bide, Lola is wearing Easton Pearson, and Cassi is wearing Alex Perry. The girls go to hair/makeup, and Franky says that everyone wants to do well for the obvious reasons, but also to raise a lot of money for the charity. Clare goes to her dress, a frothy light pink number with crystals, which Pease says that Nicole Kidman actually wore. Clare says the quote of the series so far: “I’m actually sharing armpit sweat with Nicole Kidman!”. Tahnee’s yellow beaded gown was worn by Eva Mendes, as Pease tells us that the shoot is going to be 40 minutes instead of the usual 10-15. Cassi is up first, and all we really get? “Point your toes!” She has a lot of trouble with that part, then it’s the head. Gay says that Cassi was good from the neck to the ankles, and it got to a point where she was like “Point, point, point”. She definitely doesn’t have the stamina, and she ends up getting off and she gets a lot of crap for the smoking. She reiterated that she is quitting, but Tahnee says that it’s what she gets. Clare then tells us that immediately after Cassi got out of the AP gown…she goes and has another cig. Clare is next and definitely nails the ethereal, which the photogs LOVE. Gay says that it’s rare that they get models that respond that quickly under that challenging of conditions, but Clare rose to the challenge. She then goes on to say that she would book Clare for a job, and they even call the shoot early.

Clare goes back to change out of the gown, and she lets Tahnee know that she finished early, which she is amazed by. Adele is next and her hands are going every which way-she is told to stop as she is totally out of control. Denis says it’s like she’s on the trampoline in the backyard. After about 10 minutes and a lot of direction though, she starts to get it. Gay says that she made a 180 from where she started, and the quality is book material. Tahnee has a yellow gown with a big slit and some matching ruffled undies, and she gets glowing reviews. She is told to get into a pike position, and she does it the first try and delivers some great shots. Now when it comes to a trampoline shoot, the third season of ANTM did a really, really good one. Lola is next in a white gown with a sort of tutu, and she flounders. Badly. Her face shows the concentration from having to focus on her hands and legs. Denis says “We shot 250 shots and we got a few, but…we got a few. Truer words have never been spoken. Franky is last, in a sequinned number, and it is worse than Lola, because Franky had never been on a trampoline and thus was even more discombobulated than usual. Eventually, though, she gets it, and Gay says that it was “stressful, scary, and funny all at the same time”. Pease then gathers the models together to tell them that this isn’t the end of those dresses-and Adele (I think) is the one who guesses that they’re going to wear them and then they’ll be auctioned off. The next morning, Cassi finds a little target with a Sarah Mail darted to the board, and it goes like: “Charity begins at home, but should not end there”-Phillips Brooks “Be on target at your challenge today” Adele immediately figures out it’s for Fashion Targets Breast Cancer, and so the girls are off to Hugo’s, which is “a trendy nightclub thing” in the eyes of Clare. They are met by Pease, who tells them that they are going to be doing a fashion show wearing the gowns they wore in the photo shoot, and they will be auctioned off for the charity. They then have to sell the audience on the gown, so they have to know the gown and the designer. BTW, Franky is wearing either a wig or extensions, and all the girls have poker-straight hair. To help the fashion-challenged wannabes, he gives the girls some cards, and then lets them know there will be some special guests in to help prep the girls. First in? Mink, who says that Cassi is “all groomed now”. She talks to the girls and says that FTBC is her cause celebre, and tells them that as models, they will be asked to do a lot of charity events. Adele and Clare are practicing when Ruby Rose comes in, who I only know about due to her hooking up with Myf Shepherd, as well as Lola. Adele reveals that she has a noncancerous thing in her breast, which will have to get removed-so that brings her closer to the foundation.

The celebs start to arrive, and Pease tells the girls to get into their Aldo heels. Sarah welcomes everybody, and interviews that in attendance are the creme de la creme of the fashion crop. She says that the girls having this opportunity this early on in their careers is a good move for them. Franky is up first, and she is nervous, but Sarah-Jane Clarke (from Sass & Bide) says it was refreshing as Australia needs a good crop of models and she is glad to see the next wave. Lola is next and yep, nervous. Adele is next, and she says it’s kinda interesting that Kit Willow is sitting in the crowd, watching her dress be modeled. Kit loved Adele, especially the bright red hair colour. Clare is next, and she says that she goes on autopilot when she does runway-look straight at the camera, focus. Tahnee is next, and Mink says that all the girls have really come a long way in confidence, poise, posture, etc. Well, we haven’t seen our girl Cassi yet…and it isn’t THAT bad! She is the worst of the girls, save for Lola, however she has definitely improved. Pease VO’s that the girls should be happy that they are able to give back this early on in their careers. The girls do the final bow, and Sarah says she is pleased with how far the girls have come. Then the girls have to mix and mingle with the audience, and get them to bid on the dresses. The girls mingle, apparently Megan Gale wore Cassi’s Alex Perry gown. Lola’s dress apparently was also made just for the event. After the bidding, Sarah gathers the girls and says that Franky was the clear frontrunner, and that Cassi was just not up to snuff. So as punishment-Cassi is the slave of the housemates for the day, and Franky is the slavemaster. Anything the girls want done, she has to do. All the girls are overjoyed, especially Franky who plans to milk it for all that it’s worth. However, there is Sarah Mail waiting back at home! “The dream of becoming Australia’s Next Top Model is getting closer every day, but for one of you, it’s just slipping away. Sleep well…” Lola is shocked that eliminations are so soon, as the weeks are just flying by. The next morning, the girls rudely wake up Cassi, and force her into an apron and shower cap. She is forced to do runway, do laundry and dishes, throw tampons in front of Franky and then pick them all up (the fugly U by Kotex), brush her teeth (I would have shoved that to hit her gag reflex), cook meals for Franky, make up a rap song, and so forth. At the rap song, she goes down to a rock and breaks down, but Tahnee and Franky humiliate her over the fence. Cassi says that as the day went on, it got easier-as we see her flat-ironing Franky’s hair, giving her a massage, and then reading a bedtime story.

The next morning, it’s elimination warehouse time. Cassi says the competition is tight, and she doesn’t think she’ll make it through the competition. Lola isn’t ready to go yet-her walk has improved. Franky wants Clare to go home, as “her head needs to deflate and she needs to come back down to earth, and it’s always good to see someone’s ego being squashed”. Sarah welcomes them to elimination, telling the girls that it was media week-and that some girls rose to the challenge, while others leave her seriously worried. The guest judges this week, BTW, are Ruby Rose and Denis. Let the juding begin! Sarah tells the girls that the photos they took will be auctioned off on the website for charity, and she hopes the girls have started to think about how they will give back. Here’s a start: Do NOT give a penny to Children International. However, Alex says that on the fashion front, they are all getting a caning. Adele’s frock is equated to a nighty, Franky’s skirt is atrocious and “she and Lycra need to stay away from each other”, Tahnee stole her sequinned tunic from some old bat at the poker machine in a casino, “Cassi Trailer Trash”, Clare’s underwear-as-outerwear is not working, and Lola’s dress could be a tent. Nothing inspires Alex. Adele is first, and the judges love her photo. Charlotte says that she’s had a great transformation, and Alex says that Kit Willow would be proud. I mean, from the neck down, it’s nice, but the face is D-E-A-D, dead. Tahnee, according to Ruby, looks like one of the flowers-and this is another shot where the body is good, the face isn’t. Denis gives her an 11 out of 10 for performance, and Charlotte orders her to “burn that sack”. Franky gets an A for effort, as Denis says that halfway through he thought he wasn’t going to get anything. The face gets rave reviews from the judges, though. Lola is up next and she is asked about the plus-sized comment at the press meet, but when the photo comes up Charlotte says “there’s nothing plus-sized about that body, is there?”. Alex says her photo is very Revlon-a classic American brand. Cassi is up next and not confident at all-apparently her connection is that her grandpa had cancer. Sarah then calls her on being a chain-smoker, and that she was huffing and puffing during the photo shoot. At least she knows that she is defeated. The photo comes up though to a LOT of love from the judges, and Alex is very proud-it’s a perfect eveningwear campaign. Clare goes up and she looks like something painted on a fresco. It’s insane.

It’s deliberation time, and Sarah says it will be a very tough week. Cassi is first, and Charlotte says that she needs to be more honest. She goes on to say that when she gets some honesty in her, she’ll figure out whether or not she wants to be in the competition, because she honestly doesn’t believe it, and it’s a half-assed effort. Ruby says that she needs to change now while she can, because if she is still the classic bogan in her 20′s, people won’t put up with it. Sarah isn’t exactly loving Adele-she turns in great shots, yes. But she isn’t getting the appeal. Alex thinks she is crazy, however, and he loves the shot. I am going to have to side with Sarah on this one, though. Sarah says that Adele is definitely not safe, but Alex disagrees. Denis says that Tahnee had the best performance AND best effort of the day, and Sarah says that she has been a surprise in the competition. Lola is “completely unsafe” however, because she isn’t able to move forward and the competition is very tight. Clare scares the hell out of the judges, especially Ruby, who says that she’ll “be at the end of your bed with a knife”. Finally, Alex says that Franky’s picture is a lump, like dead weight, but Ruby disagrees. Ruby says “it’s like she’s flown up, to do a kung fu move” and Alex says that it looks like she’s wondering when she’s going to go *thud*. The girls come back in, and Tahnee gets her first photo. She is told that she has to be careful about what she says in public, even though she photographs well. Clare is next and Sarah says that sometimes she comes across as fake. Cassi is next, with Sarah hoping that she took onboard the fact that she needs to be honest-both with herself and others. Adele is next and while the photo was great, it’s very “Same-Look Adele”. Franky and Lola are the B2-Franky is told that she is not quite media-ready, and at the photo shoot, she may have plateaued. Lola, meanwhile, has improved, but is very inconsistent and at this point, the competition is so tight. Sadly, it isn’t a double elimination, as Franky gets her photo. Sarah says that Lola will have a great career, “wherever she goes”. Translation? “Not in modeling”. The typical kiss/cry, and then she leaves and yells “See you scrags!” Heh. Back at the mansion, she says that she expected it would be her, and she is proud of herself for making the top 6. She then says that she sees Clare winning, and she decides to get her revenge on Cassi (“she should be leaving before me!”) by throwing her frog stuffed animal in the pool.

Next week: Let the cattiness amp up! It’s acting week, as they go to classes where they have to learn tools such as crying on demand. Franky yells at Cassi, saying that everyone wants to be there except for her. It is then announced at the photo shoot that the girls will be going overseas after this.

Back at the Elimination Shed, Laura says she can’t describe the crazy feelings…being called was a relief. Well yes, it would be. Tahnee is sad that Maddy left, because she was closest to her and they had a lot of inside jokes. Adele proves her mathematical prowess by saying that “now that Maddy’s left, the group seems that much smaller”. Well, she did have a big personality, but still. She then says that they aren’t worrying about who is going to go next-it’s who’s going to win. Back at the mansion, they are sitting on the lanai, reading gossip mags and throwing Wiffle balls at each other, when Tahnee runs to the washroom to brush her teeth, and there’s Sarah Mail: “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the trendiest of them all?” She runs out and tells the girls, who immediately become the Khaki Barn clones from 6teen and run up and see it. As Tahnee reads it, Cassi answers “I am!” They figure out that this week is about style. This week is always an interesting one because it’s not only about their personal style, but in many cases what they know about fashion. Anyways, Adele says that fashion isn’t Cassi’s thing, and she thinks it’s ironic that she walked in wearing that damned Snoop Dogg sweatshirt. Tahnee thinks that they’re going to be checking their clothes, in which case Cassi should be VERY afraid. Clare says that it’s not just about who has the best personal style, but who has the best knowledge OF style! She’s definitely going far, that one. She’s done her homework. The girls then leave and “are in front of a really big building, and then we go inside” (thanks Adele) to the Harper’s Bazaar offices. On the top floor, they are met by Pease and then a lady from HB. Pease says “I look around, and I realize this lesson couldn’t come soon enough for a lot of you”.

NO SHIT!

Pease then introduces them to Clauda Navone, the fashion director for HB Australia. He tells the girls that she worked with Vogue Italia and British Elle, to name a few. She then tells the girls that to be a good model, they need to have a good understanding of style, as well as a good personal style. Then, it’s critique time-and Cassi fails, as her white shoes, acid-washed jeans, and electric blue top are not working. Also the length of the jeans fails (too short for heels), and Tahnee says “I think Cassi knows she’s not very stylish, and the rest of us know she hasn’t been taught”. Claudia then goes on to say that the heart (presumably necklace) with the jeans is sweet. Clare is given high marks for the top of her outfit (a black floaty minidress with beige vest) but the shoes-a brown ankle-strapped monstrosity-are all wrong for the outfit. And the worst part? She actually thought that the shoes were going to be the high point of the outfit. Claudia then tells the girls the trends that are big on the runways are “new power dressing” (exaggerated shoulders, skinny pants, a rock ‘n roll element), “English garden” (soft neutrals, very feminine), and “world traveler” (bits and bobs from various places, like you traveled the world and picked up a piece in each country). Pease then tells the girls that behind the curtains, there are racks of clothes and shoes and accessories, and they will be split into teams to try and put together a look. Franky and Cassi are given “English Garden”, which Lola finds funny because they have opposite styles. Adele, Laura, and Tahnee are “Power Dressing”, which Tahnee says will be an advantage because Adele studies in “that area”, working with textiles and what not. Clare and Lola are then left with “World Traveler”. They have 5 minutes and it’s a mad dash for the racks of clothes and accessories. With that little amount of time, the models (Lola, Cassi, and Adele) are having random pieces thrown on them. Time is up, and the girls are back for judgement-and the verdict? “Oh, my, God”. Adele is seen as the positive, and Clare says that power dressing is an easier look. Claudia isn’t happy about the lack of denim, but an 80′s-inspired look was very well recreated. She was wearing a black boyfriend blazer, a black LBD, and black booties. Cassi is next, with a giant hat, huge floral earrings, a silk camisole, a skirt, a fugly purse, and a leather belt. That’s a lot of accessories-and to Claudia (and me), the outfit is ruined. As soon as she hears, Cassi reaches for the earrings. She then VO’s that she wouldn’t have done the belt OR that many accessories! See, she knows one of the cardinal rules of style: DON’T OVERACCESSORIZE! Finally, it’s Hot-Mess Lola. Pease says that he understands that world traveler means collecting, but it doesn’t mean discarded. She’s wearing a shredded tee, a vest, an ugly hat, and a skirt. The tee had potential, but with a denim skirt? Not so much. Pease then is shocked to hear that Lola was dressed by Clare, and she gets a “What were you thinking?” but she says that she only had 5 minutes. Well played. Pease then tells the girls that it was just a lesson, but Claudia is a very important client-so good luck for the girls who did well, and for the ones who didn’t, HB may not be for them.

Back at the house, Cassi is talking with her mum who is apparently flying SOMEWHERE. Where exactly? I dunno. The next morning though, the pool is filled with glorified bath toys-namely little sailboats and so forth. Clare thinks that it might be a Sarah Mail, and she is right-there’s an RC boat that Tahnee got the controls for that has it. “Some are born into royalty for others it is bestowed-fashion royalty awaits” Clare immediately thinks that it might be a fashion show on a boat, but the royalty thing throws them off. Laura says it’s the very first Sarah Mail they’ve actually been puzzled by. They all head to the Strand Arcade, passing boutiques of designers like Wayne Cooper, and then Lola figures out: it’s Alex Perry himself. He tells the girls that he is doing probably the most special show he has ever done, and he has cast most of the models, but he needs a couple more. That’s why they are there. Adele says it’s just “insane” to be casting for an Alex Perry show at that stage in the competition. They are then introduced to Trevor Stones, who used to work for Vogue Australia, and his opinion on the models is the one he relies on the most. Alex then says that they’re all going to walk. Laura is nervous thanks to Trevor. Cassi is up first, and she fails. She probably has the worst walk in all seasons-her legs go one way, her torso another, and her head side to side. She explains that one shoulder and one hip are higher than the other, which Franky calls “the usual excuses”. Lola is trying to “look like a lady” as the usual whistle music plays, and Trevor says that the walk “looks like she’s walking down the street”. Clare is next and she tries to do it like she’s actually in the show, and it gets high marks from Trevor. I definitely agree as well-she has the hair right too. Franky, however, says that she never has and never will like Clare’s walk, because it looks way too OTT and very much like a horse galloping. Very possessed. Adele is next and she also wins rave reviews, as her walk is seen as the most natural of the bunch. She takes comfort in knowing that she is better than Cassi at something, because her walk is better and her photos are getting better-she hopes to beat Cassi in the end. Well guess what? You won’t. Deal with it.

Franky is next and very nervous-she needs to take longer steps. She admits she’s at her worst, while Laura…well, just sucks. Period. Tahnee is last and she’s trying to focus and be confident, and it certainly comes off well as she has a little bit of swagger in her walk. In a good way, though. The girls are then told that the show will be aboard the Queen Mary 2-Lola tells us it is the first time that anyone has ever done a fashion show aboard the ship-and Clare and Adele are chosen for the show. Clare interviews that one of her main goals was to be in an Alex Perry show, but she didn’t think that would actually happen. Cassi says that Clare’s personality might not let her win the competition, as it’s very “bland” while Cassi is young and bright. Alex then says that there’s a dilemma-regarding Tahnee. They love her, they’re just not sure how she’d fit in with the rest of the lineup (ie: she’s definitely bigger). She will be fitted with the rest of the lineup, and then they’ll see. She doesn’t care that it’s just a maybe though-she’ll take what she can get. Anywhoo, the girls return to the mansion, and Sarah is there waiting. Sarah tells the girls that she is proud of how far they have come, and how hard it must be for them to be away from home for so long. She especially knows it’s tough on Cassi whose mum is leaving on Saturday to go overseas. Her mum then comes out, and it’s quite the emotional reunion. Lola says that everyone is emotional because Cassi gets to see her mum. See, that’s good that they actually have hearts-in other circumstances some of the girls would have been like “Oh, who cares” or something like that. Sarah then tells them that it wouldn’t be fair for Cassi to be the only one to get a visit, so Virgin Blue (product placement alert) flew out a loved one for each of them! In groups, all the other mums come out-Lola’s and Clare’s, Adele’s, Franky’s, and then Tahnee’s and Laura’s. After a few minutes of kiss and cry, Sarah says that there is a high tea out on the lawn. All the mums and daughters are talking, and Sarah says that Cassi’s mum must be proud. “You should see her shots” she says. Lola says that she hasn’t watched her shape since she’s been there, to the horror of Sarah. Franky says that Sarah is one of the “most nicest” people she’s ever met, and she actually goes around and talks with all the mums and daughters! Then, all the mums have to leave, and it’s really hard, especially for Franky, who likes hearing someone believes in her. For Cassi’s mum, it was more tears than Cassi herself, and Tahnee wants to lock her mum in her room.

It’s the night before the Alex Perry show, and Clare is quite sick. She was throwing up, so she has a sick station-of a bucket, a glass of water, and a bottle of sparkling water. And, oh yeah, THE GODDAMNED KOTEX BEAVER! To add insult to injury, she wakes up even worse and it’s a very early morning. She, along with Tahnee and Adele, leave for the show, and Tahnee is not sure whether or not she will be there. They get into the Blue Hotel, and Trevor tells Tahnee that she will be getting in the show (which she didn’t expect, due to being shorter). Adele says it’s weird, being in makeup with all the other established models…and oh look! It’s the Queen of ANTM, Alice Burdeu. Clare says that her aim is not to puke, as her head is spinning. Alex then asks Tahnee if she is nervous, and when she says yes, he says he thinks that it’s good for her-it makes her focus. After hair/makeup, they meet up with Charlotte and the losers. Charlotte says that the ship carries 3000 passengers-and has 2000 washrooms. The losers have to individually tie numbers on the chairs, and Franky is “so over it”. The creme de la creme of the Australian A-list are there, and Adele is excited as the show is about to start. Trevor is very confident about using Tahnee, saying that all the girls have been practicing in their shoes and getting used to how their dresses will be. The runway is a U-shaped one, and there are the losers, forced to STAND and watch. The show starts-hey look! There’s Queen Alice! Clare is first, and Alex gushes about how spectacular her walk was, and says that she was a real professional as you couldn’t tell she was sick. Tahnee is next and she was quite nervous, but Cassi said that she was the best-and that her ass looked good in the dress. Adele goes out to give it her best, and Alex says that her walk is easy, relaxed, and long. She was also mistaken for Alice Burdeu a lot, which is a compliment. Show ends, Alex comes out to take a bow, Alice is one of the girls to give flowers. Sarah was nervous, but the girls did well. Franky is nervous because the girls in the show will have an advantage, as the judges have seen that they can cope under a real fashion-show environment. Then they pose, and Clare is right next to Alex. After the show, Alex, Sarah, and Charlotte go to talk to the girls, and they are nothing but proud. When questioned, Clare says that she doesn’t feel too sick. Alex says that they were amazing, and Sarah said that not only did they not look inexperienced, but they were better than most of the girls in the show.

As they disembark, the captain gives them a Sarah Mail: “Places to go, people to see. Even when surrounded by adversity, who will use the camera best to arrive at their destination?” The girls all try to figure it out-Franky thinks it’s a travel shoot, Laura thinks it’s runway, and Lola has no idea. It’s another early start though-make that 3:45 AM, and “pitch black” according to Tahnee. They head to Wylie’s Baths & Kiosk, and are met by Pease and their photographer, Richard Freeman. He says if they know what the early bird gets, and he asks who will get the worm this week. This week has been all about fashion-the photo shoot? High fashion. Specifically-CHANEL!!!!

HOLY CRAP!!!!

After my shock ends, Lola is shocked, saying that it’s not her usual kind of stuff. In a positive way. She knows she has to “posh up”. Pease says the shoot is called “Stranded on a Pilon” and they need their wits and courage. Richard Freeman is the photographer, who has shot for Vogue and HB, as well as being Giorgio Armani’s personal photographer when he was in Australia. Richard tells the girls they’re going to be on a 3 meter area, that is surrounded completely by water. Laura says the thought of her being completely surrounded by water in Chanel is quite scary, and her balance is bad. That explains the crappy walk. Pease then says they have to look like they’re going somewhere. They are in hair and makeup, and if there was any doubt that it’s Chanel, see all the bags, the accessories, the thousand-dollar pieces. Very rarely do they use actual designers on Top Model, so this is big. Cassi is first to shoot, and well, she flounders. So much so that Pease says she isn’t making it look like Chanel. Richard is appalled, saying he’s never seen someone stick a thumb in the pocket of a Chanel suit. After she finishes failing, Franky says that the fact that she doesn’t have the versatility to do high fashion and commercial both will work against her-if she doesn’t get a good photo, she’s screwed. Speaking of which, she is up next. The interesting thing is that people are swimming in that area while the girls are shooting. They’re not in open water-just a swimming area. She takes her shots, and Richard says she looked relaxed and refined. Tahnee is next and at first, she looks a little catalogue “which I know isn’t good, because Chanel isn’t catalogue-it’s high fashion”. Pease is satisfied with her, although he says she is getting a bit lazy. Indeed, more interesting than some of her shots is the guy in the Speedo behind her. Adele is scared because it’s really high up, and she starts slow but quickly gets into the groove, with Pease saying “it’s like shooting a real model wearing real Chanel”. Um, this is real Chanel. Lola’s face works, but Richard says the truth-”to be a model, you can’t have thighs of that size”. Her dress doesn’t suit her, as you can see some stomach pudge, so Richard is right-she needs exercise and toning. Laura is up and it’s worse than Cassi. The swimmers are more interesting, and Pease says it’s flatlined. Finally, we have Clare, in a more intricate piece-and she flounders! She wasn’t taking the direction well and Pease says he has no idea who will win-Cassi is average, Clare is average-but you have Adele and Tahnee, who are dark horses. Over the last three weeks, admittedly, they have gotten better, and he sees them as the top two girls.

Elimination warehouse time! Cassi, who is dressed the best she has so far, is not confident. Franky is nervous as well, as it’s going to be the top 6. Sarah welcomes them and is glad they are all still standing after the rollercoaster of a week that they had. Usual prizes, Alex is introduced as the “strongman of fashion” (to which he brings out the guns, albeit in a fugly plaid shirt), and the guest judges are Richard, the photographer, and Priscilla, their future agent. Cassi is first, and Sarah doesn’t know if she is giving enough. She knows she did badly, saying that she wasn’t as confident as usual, but she was trying her hardest. Not according to Richard, because the last 30 frames were a waste of time. Laura is next-and judge for yourself whether it’s good or bad: “You almost look like a swimmer in Chanel than that Parisienne chic”. Thank you, Alex. He goes on to say that the package is there, but she has to do the job. Richard says that there was a sophistication missing. Clare is next, and I’m not liking it. She half-heartedly says that she likes it, and Richard says that in half the frames her eyes were dead. Alex loves it though, with the kind of faraway look. After getting another look, I actually like it too. Lola actually turns out a decent shot, with Alex saying that she is statuesque. Adele? Let’s just say Sarah says it could be an actual Chanel ad, and it is her favourite photo of the competition so far. Tahnee has an interesting shot of her looking down-however, it was shot before the actual start of the shoot, as all of the shots she did take were catalogue and boring. Speaking of boring…iiiiiiiiiiit’s Franky! Holy shit it’s a hot mess. It is definitely NOT her best shot, and it’s only halfway decent from afar. Up close, it’s abysmal. Worst shot of the season-worse than anything Mikarla did.

Deliberation time! Cassi is confusing Sarah, as she says that she can stand up and say that she tried her hardest, but you have a photographer there who says she didn’t. Priscilla says that the lying isn’t as much an issue, she managed to take a good shot. Alex says it isn’t good, however. Definitely “unsafe”. On the subject of Franky, Charlotte says “Beautiful body, but her face looks like it wants to tag my wall”. Definitely unsafe. Priscilla says that Tahnee’s shot is more about the skill of Richard than anything Tahnee did, however Alex says that she is definitely safe. Laura, however, they are not so sure about. Alex says that she made Chanel look like average catalogue, and Sarah says she thought it would be Laura and Lola in the bottom-but she likes Lola’s shot! Alex hates it, Charlotte loves it. Priscilla notes that she’s lost a ton of weight. Hello, Photoshop. Clare’s shot is not their favourite, however she is 100% professional, which doesn’t go unnoticed. Finally, Adele is “the ideal Chanel girl”. Take that, Heidi Mount. The girls are then called back in, with Adele (not surprisingly) getting her picture first. Sarah asks if the dark horse is becoming the frontrunner, and she gets her picture. Clare, Tahnee, Lola, and Cassi all get their shots, and when Cassi gets her photo, Sarah tells her to cut the excuses, because actions speak louder than words. Honestly, thank you Sarah. Cassi may be my favourite but she needs a reality check and an attitude adjustment, and hopefully this will be what she needs. Laura and Franky are the bottom 2, and I honestly would send them both home. Laura was insecure, unsure, and awkward-three words that should not be in a model’s vocabulary. Franky wasn’t HF enough to make the Alex Perry show, and her photo was reasonable at best. Reasonable wins though, as Laura is sent packing, with Sarah saying that she has a career ahead of her. As a model? OVER MY DEAD BODY. It’s kiss and cry goodbye, as a disappointed Laura packs her stuff and leaves. She picks Adele to win, as she has gotten better every week.

Next week, it’s media week! The girls are grilled, and one girl-sounds like Cassi or Lola-makes threats. One of the journalists says “Making death threats is not a way to get us on your side”. Then it’s an event at Fashion Targets Breast Cancer, in which Clare says that she is “sharing armpit sweat with Nicole Kidman”. The photo shoot is on a trampoline, and one of the girls is told to stop, as she is totally out of control. At elimination, which is billed to be the harshest yet, Alex is appalled and says that they are all getting a caning. This is going to be good, but I would have to say it’s Lola or Franky going.

Survivor: Tocantins
The exit of Ben, aka Coach, was too late, as we had to hear his stories every episode. The final 4 of JT, Stephen, Taj, and Erinn competed in a crazy spider-shaped obstacle course challenge, with Erinn closing a gap but JT beating her by one second-and the guys blindsiding Taj at the Tribal. Then it’s the Fallen comrades walk and the final IC, which is more of a concentration game, with balls having to be dropped into a chute with one hand tied behind the back. JT won and took Stephen to the finals, where he then proceeded to get every single jury vote AND win the prize for fan favourite-joined by Taj and to Jeff’s surprise, Sierra (but not mine). Next season a cast of 18 will compete in Samoa.

Amazing Race 14
In China, Kisha and Jen were eliminated by a pee break, so the teams all raced to Hawaii, where they had to transport a pig 200 yards and prepare it for a luau, ride a jetski out to a buoy field, and then match up surfboards at the famous Surfboard Fence. Margie and Luke arrived first but Luke’s inability to match the last one let Tammy and Victor win the million. The redheads got 2nd, with Margie and Luke finishing a very respectable third. I have to say, the finale was anticlimatic because you just knew Tammy and Victor were going to win, and the three of them had made an F3 pact on night 1 in Switzerland. And even though I was Margie/Luke from the beginning, I wasn’t too disappointed with the Tammy/Victor win.

Pitchmen
It’s been a lot of new products-many flops, many successes. Along the way Billy and Anthony took a young inventor under their wings who invented the prototype for the Spot Sucker, a revolutionary stain-removing tool. They also met a couple from Australia who wanted to bring the indoor vertical grill back into the mainstream, as it was something that Black & Decker produced for many years and they paid thousands to buy the rights. That didn’t make it. A tool designed to grab broken screws didn’t make it on informercial, however it was selling well in stores. Some of the successes though were a foot stick made of essential oils, designed to help heal the worst cracked heels; an armband designed to hold tools; and “What Odor?”, a natural odor-removing spray. Hijinks were a plenty as Billy pranked Sully, Sully pranked Billy, and all was right in the world.

18 Kids/Counting
Admittedly, I missed the date night episode, however this last new one had the Duggars having a St. Patrick’s Day breakfast, with Michelle teaching all the kids about who St. Patrick really was. Quite humourous was Jim Bob saying that a green breakfast would lead to a green bowel movement. Heh. They then got custom blinds installed, which the boys loved as it would keep the sun from getting into their room, but it was mainly for the ease of the production team so that they wouldn’t have too much light. Then four of the middle kids-Josiah, Joy Anna, and the twins-go to the dentist, along with John David, who had a pretty deep cavity. Jeremiah and Joy Anna do pretty well, while Jeddediah has to get a couple fillings. It’s funny though when Joy Anna takes the camera and films the receptionists. Next week, the kids go to a public school-that’s going to be a must-see episode. Take that, Gosselins.

Dancing With The Stars
Bouncing back from injury, Melissa had a perfect 30 on her samba during Latin Solo week, where all the stars had to do a 15-second solo, and Ty upset Kim and sent her packing. However it was only for one week, as he was sent out before the finals. They all performed a group PD, with Melissa thankfully not wearing the tents that Cheryl and Shawn wore. Then it was the freestyles, with Shawn doing a young, upbeat dance, Melissa doing more of a hiphop/dance team routine, and Gilles doing Flashdance. Shawn definitely had the advantage going into the freestyle as she was the only one not injured, and it paid off as she, unfortunately, won. They also danced encores of their dances, with she and Mark doing the cha cha, Gilles doing the PD, and Melissa doing-what else-the samba. It would have been nice for them to reprise the AT which should have gotten them a 30, or do The Jive That Never Was, but they played it safer. The only eliminated stars who did full performances were the Woz, LT, Chuck, Kim, and Ty. Everyone else did a group piece, although I wasn’t crazy about Steve-O doing the foxtrot again.

Daisy of Love
It’s been very crazy, as the second challenge was a show-and-tell, with the top three guys and the best one from the lapdance detention getting a date. Flipper eliminated himself, and Professor and Weasel leaving. Then at paintball, Brooklyn drops out, guys win dates, and Tool Box and Cable Guy are sent packing. The next challenge is remixing nursery rhymes, and London wins the challenge with his team, but he then drops out. The guys then have to style Daisy for a photo shoot for the cover of a single, with Fox winning a solo date and Flex, Sinister, and 6 Gauge winning a skatepark date. Back at the house, in one of the funniest reality moments ever, a skunk gets into the house and sprays 12 Pack, with Big Rig being the one to get it out of the house. Cage is definitely pissed about stuff and after getting really drunk, attacks both Flex and 6 Gauge. He then drops out because he can’t avoid hitting someone. Next episode, it’s cage-fighting, with Chi Chi vs. Sinister and it gets brutal. Also one guy is accused of having a live-in girlfriend in the episode after that.

Charm School 3
In what has already been a crazy season, Brittaney Starr instigated a fight between her and Beverly that led to Beverly kicking some ass, and being taken out of Charm School. Gia then got totally sloshed and was sent away, but she did get rehab afterwards. Their first challenge was to help clean up a river in LA, and Ashley, Marcia, and Kiki were sent to the carpet, with Kiki getting sent home in what many girls saw as a racist move. After all of that, both So Hood and Farrah left the house, as the girls were put to the test of socializing with seniors. Roxanne (KO) and Bianca (Bubbles) both did well, but Bay Bay Bay won after helping an old man up. Natasha strategized to get Bianca, Brittaney, and Brittanya down on the carpet, but all for nothing as Ricki decided to keep them all for another week-in which they will be helping kids exercise by leading PE classes.

In other news, Tool Academy will be back on Sunday nights in August, joining Megan Wants A Millionaire, the dating show of manytime reality star Megan Hauserman. Brooke Knows Best premieres for a new season where she tries to patch things up with Hulk, turns 21, and continues to live the bachelorette life. Terrell Owens is getting “The T.O. Show” which premieres on the 27th of July on VH1. Meanwhile Bravo has greenlit The Real Housewives of Washington D.C., and is in the process of shooting Real Housewives of Atlanta 2, and I think another season of Real Housewives of the O.C. E! premieres Kendra on the 7th of June, which follows former Hefner girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson as she moves out of the Playboy mansion and into her own place, in preparation for her upcoming wedding to Hank Baskett. It also features the premiere of the second season of Denise Richard’s reality show. So just when you think there isn’t a lot on reality, think again.

We go back to Elimination Warehouse, where Adele thinks that Georgie had it in her to win it-and in her eyes, it’s one less person to compete against. The thing about Georgie is that she was very pedestrian and she couldn’t take a good picture. Sometimes the pedestrian can take a good picture, and sometimes the unique cannot. Eloise says that there are people who she would have liked to see leave first-such as Mikarla, who is “still smoking and eating crap” and wasn’t making as much effort as Georgie. Clare says that some people deserved to go before Georgie, because she knows how hard she worked. See hon, here’s the thing: this is not about effort. You aren’t getting further in the show thanks to an A for effort-you actually have to have RESULTS. Laura says that all the “pretty” girls are leaving, but the ones left are picking their game up as the competition is at its peak. The next morning, a robot goes up to the house, and a doorbell brings the girls down for Sarah Mail. They open it up to find the robot, which they all fawn over, with Eloise reading the SM:
“Be elegant, not automated. Pick up the pace and process the knowledge. It’s time to step out of your comfort zones.”
Eloise sums up that everyone figured out it was catwalk week, and she was “scared shitless”. Lola echoes similar feelings of dread. In the garage of the house, Mikarla and Cassi are using the lines to practice their catwalking skills with Mikarla saying that as soon as she saw what Cassi was doing, she knew it was wrong, and she learned her lesson: don’t listen to Cassi catwalking. Simple as that.

The girls then head out to King’s Cross, and Lola says that many of them wonder about all the junkies but she says “This is King’s Cross-welcome”. She then goes on to describe the red double doors of the place they are going (Kit & Kaboodle Supper Club) but then when she sees it, she realizes she’s heard of it! They all go upstairs, and Clare says that the under 18′s (her, Cassi, Tahnee, Madison) are excited since they aren’t normally allowed in nightclubs. They are met by Sarah upstairs, who tells them that the last few weeks have been about the physical aspect of modeling-how to get the most out of your body and face-but this week is one of, if not the most important thing: how to walk the runway. Franky cringes as Sarah tells them that she’s done a few runways in her time, so she’s excited-and she brought in a special guest-Mink, who is apparently one of Australia’s top runway coaches. Mikarla has a pretty good reaction-”Mink comes around the corner and I was like “Holy shit on fire”". Mink tells the girls that runway is not just about walking-it’s also poise and confidence. Who knew? She then tells the girls they have to bring all that, as well as personality, to the runway and make it their own. They sit on the dais as one by one, they do their walks. Clare is up first and “all I can think is crap, crap, crap, crap, don’t fall, don’t fall, shit, crap”. That translates into good results, as Sarah notes that Clare is focused and Mink picks up a lot of confidence as well as a good eye line. Cassi notes that Clare does a sort of headbanger thing, as she can’t keep her head straight. Cassi is next and the legs irk both Sarah and Mink, with Mink saying the legs are like she is riding a horse. Mikarla says she isn’t one to talk, because her walk sucks, but if you have a sucky walk don’t teach people. Franky is told to focus on one point, but when she does, it’s fabulous. Eloise has a great body and good face-but that means nothing because there is no personality coming through. Laura is told to watch her flippy hands and at the end, the judges aren’t thrilled. Tahnee is having trouble with her “Stripperama” skirt but both she and Adele do well. Lola, meanwhile, is told she has good height (true) and proportions (very false) but she needs to make herself more feminine, as right now she’s looking butch. Sarah says that Lola would not get any jobs with that walk, which worries her. Madison’s walk elicits laughter from the other girls and disbelief from Sarah and Mink, with Mikarla saying she doesn’t understand HOW she walked like that at all. Mink tells Madison that she walks like a man, and Madison says that she tried. Lola says that Maddy walks more like a man than she does…not quite, hon. Mink wonders if she is even fixable.

Mikarla is last up, and she is told to think tall-but she is mainly annoying Sarah, with how she is coming in and making fun of everything. Sarah says that the girls need to come in trying their hardest, yet Mikarla just mocks it all. She then tells all the girls that she expects exceptional out in the real world, and upstairs there are many difficult outfits. Madison describes her outfit as being like a seal-so restrained from movement. And she thought it would be easy! One by one, the girls go back down to the club, where Maddy is the last and she is holding the train of her dress, leaving Sarah hoping that’s not how she would do it at a show. The girls show off the outfits, and Clare is first with a very loose outfit that leaves her panicking that her boobs will fall out. Cassi is much improved, with a very gauzy white top and then a high-waisted full skirt that she works within an inch of its life. Franky has harem pants and a top that is certainly loose and midriff-baring, and her walk is well-liked. Eloise has a big jacket and a tiny dress and completely fails to deliver ANYTHING. Lola has a vest and skirt, and she is much better, while Laura has what looks like a maxi dress but is instead a mini with a coat, or with a two-height hemline. Tahnee, meanwhile, shows her personal Fiesta on accident (heh…”I don’t want to see your personal Fiesta, honey”) as she takes the coat off, but thankfully, she’s wearing undies as Mink says that they don’t need to see her underwear. Adele has a swimsuit with pareo…and a mask. They ask if she can see through it and she says that she can’t a whole lot, but she gets high marks from the judges. Maddy can probably barely even breathe in the gown with how much trouble she has with the walking part, and she is told to “kick it out”. It actually is better, until she throws in a silly shoulder pose at the end, which gets universal hate. Finally, Mikarla has lots and lots of fabric thrown on her, and immediately Sarah catches the fact that she cheated and pulled her skirt up-”such a no-no”. She continues on to say that Mikarla needs to take this seriously, that she can’t just pull up a dress and change the design, and laugh it off like “oh I always get caught cheating”. When questioned why she pulled it up, Mikarla said that she did it to make it easier.

Seriously, I would eliminate her RIGHT NOW. If you saw the gowns and shoes the real models have to wear, she would be booking a one-way ticket back to Boganville.

Sarah then asks if the designer is working for Mikarla, and she says no, and interviews that she didn’t think it was cheating to pull it up 10cm. Sarah gathers them all together and says that they have improved, but many of them have a long way to go. Mink says that if they want to go anywhere in the industry, they have to strap on those heels and walk. Sarah then says “Speaking of footsteps” and they all turn around, where there are paper shoe prints on the ground. They follow them outside (yes still in those outfits) to a Sarah Mail that says:
“Embrace exposure, step into the light; be transported, a challenge is in sight”
They immediately think they are going somewhere (as Clare reads the SM, there is a large sign that says “MODELS” but I doubt they are fashion models…), with one girl speculating Melbourne. They all get shuttled off to the middle of nowhere, although some girls get excited at first because they are close to the airport. They end up at…a fruit market. Yes, a fruit market. It makes so little sense to the girls, and as they walk through the market they certainly attract the attention of the men. Laura says the men looked like they’d never seen a female before, and there are forklifts piling up. They are met by Pease and Charlotte, and Charlotte at 2 AM isn’t the thing most people want to see, but for Mikarla? Since Charlotte scares the shit out of her, I’d  venture to say never. Charlotte says that as models, they’ll be expected to get into some pretty unglamourous situations-and they have to make it “effortless, seamless, and of course, glamourous”. Clare is absolutely mortified. A semi then pulls up with their runway, and Charlotte says the prize is going to be among the biggest ever-asking the girls if they’d ever heard of the Corner Shop, which stocks Miu Miu, Willow, and Josh Goot, among others. The winner will get $10000 voucher to spend there, to which Tahnee says “Bring it on” as she really wants it. As the girls are in hair and makeup, one of the guys says that “when you come to work at 2 in the morning, you never expect this to be put in front of you”. and a guy with him gives all the girls a 10. Eloise notes that people stopped their forklifts just to catch a glimpse of the girls. The girls practice walking as Pease notes they can stop traffic.

Clare, meanwhile, considers it her idea of hell. However she will pull it together, be professional, and get it done! There are quite a few models who need that attitude, so point Clare. Charlotte says that in a modeling gig, you don’t often have control of the situations, as the fruit market thing could be the brief for a client-their concept could be to come to a place like a fruit market and it would be fun, not unusual. Cassi is up first and she is very uncoordinated-going from side to side and all over the place. Not good. Maddy tries to keep from laughing. Franky is next with a yellow dress that is within an inch of showing the puppies to the (probably eager) men surrounding the runway, and she has a fairly strong showing. Lola has a wardrobe malfunction of some sort, and Charlotte says that she “looked like an elephant trampled a grape bunch”. Pease loves Lola, but says that she looked like she should be moving the fruit around. Adele is very balanced, while Eloise has a decent showing with the judges noting she’d been practicing. Tahnee plays to the crowd, with Charlotte wondering how they can walk in those shoes on that surface, and she does a little booty pop at the end that gets the guys excited as the judges are shocked that she’s only 16. Laura is looking very Eugenia between the wig and the eye makeup (all the girls are wearing white bob wigs) and is told “Shoulders back” while Maddy is “clueless on the runway” according to Pease, continuing to note that even the guys at the market know a bad catwalk as she gets…silence. “All beauty pageant, no runway” he notes, as Mikarla has a very poor showing complete with sourpuss expression. To add insult to mediocrity, she falls off the ramp at the end. Clare takes it a little OTT and Cassi calls it a little skanky at the end. Charlotte says that they’ve come a long way-they didn’t even know WHAT heels were at the beginning. All of the girls are gathered back and Pease says that it was fairly well done, considering the less-than-ideal circumstances, but a public shoot or runway means you can’t control them. He asks Mikarla if she’s given up, and she says no but he says all he sees is a girl that’s given up. She interviews that she has no idea what he’s looking for, but she can’t handle him being that nasty. Charlotte says that most of the girls did well, but Tahnee and Adele were the top two, with Tahnee getting the money. Charlotte then tells Tahnee that she has to pick a shopping companion, and decide how much of the money they will get to spend. Tahnee goes for fairness and chooses Adele because she was second-best-which is the move I would have made as well. Adele is glad she was chosen, but nervous because she thinks she’s only going to get a dollar.

Back at the house, Tahnee calls her mum to tell her about the shopping spree as Mikarla has a meltdown in her bed. Cassi calls her boyfriend and tells him that she’s going insane, being in a house with all the girls, and he tells her not to get too overly serious. The next morning, Clare says that Cassi has an issue with people using the under-18′s shower in the morning, as it wakes her up. Apparently it was 9 AM and they were supposed to be up at 8:30, so Clare is showering-and Cassi gets up, reaches in the shower, and physically turns the water off. Laura doesn’t see what the issue was because it was 9 AM-it wasn’t like it was 5 AM. Honestly, in a house that large, I’d think there would be more showers. The girls are all in one of the lounge areas, and Cassi says that if Clare does that again she will rip her out by her hair. Okay, that’s a bit harsh. If you can’t get to bed on time to wake up when you are supposed to, then you’re wrong. All the girls immediately come to Clare’s defence, with Laura saying that she’s very much like Clare’s mommy. Laura says that nobody would take Cassi’s side, and Cassi interviews that she would apologize later on. BTW, nice Ed Hardy shirt Tahnee. They head out to the Corner Shop, and Charlotte asks how much Adele gets…$1000. Adele wasn’t expecting much anyways, but Mikarla says that it’s nothing. The losers have to sit on the dais and watch, and Eloise asks how much longer they are going to be there but Tahnee says she’s going to take a long time. At the end, the girls are very apathetic, as Adele ends up with a Marc Jacobs bag (smart move, go for an investment piece) and Tahnee with many bags. Then all the bags are handed to the losers, for them to porter. Charlotte dismisses them back to the mansion, telling them that it’s her time to shop. Back at the mansion, Cassi finds Sarah Mail, and all the girls run for it.
“It takes more than just good fortune be at the right place at the right time. You’d better make sure you are where you’re intended to be”
Eloise notes that the girls are all really worried, as they have no idea what it could be. They all head to where the photo shoot is, which Mikarla says is a dodgy area. Lola was excited going into the sheds, as there was graffiti and many old trams, and you could see where the homeless had been sleeping. Mikarla again goes on with hoping that Cassi would leave. Pease meets them with two men, and he says that this week was all about how to walk a runway WITH CONFIDENCE. Mikarla is hopeful because there is nowhere for them to walk…”but that soon got shot down”. Pease says that they have to transfer the catwalk skills to the photo shoot. The client? U by Kotex. Honestly, I can understand why they are doing the ad, because they are a sponsor of the show-but I’m not crazy about tampon ads (like anyone wears pads anymore these days). Pease introduces the girls to Monty Noble, who is the “executive creative director” of the Brand Shop. Monty tells them that they’re doing a promotional campaign for the new packaging. In an interview, he says that the brand is all about being confident in yourself, displaying that to the world, and being alluring, sassy, and a little cheeky. All that from a tampon? Anywhoo, he says at the end of the day the strongest photograph will be used as a promotional image for the campaign. See, again with real usage! In four photoshoots two have been for real purposes-take that, Tyra. Pease then introduces the photographer, Kane Skennar, who has recently shot for GQ and Grazia as well as doing a shoot with Miranda Kerr, which gets an approving nod from Maddy. Hair and makeup time!

As the girls are getting prepped, Clare says that she really wants to win the campaign. Franky loves her dress and makeup…”the hair, on the other hand…I didn’t want to complain, but I felt like Beyonce gone drag”. She is up first, and has to walk past the U and look at a certain point. Pease says that modeling may look easy, but to make it look real is harder. After awhile, she gets it, and she is described as being ideal for the brand. She says though that it’s hard to fulfill the brief, look graceful, make the outfit look good, and not overthink everything. Mikarla is absolutely dead with Pease saying that you have to try hard to look more boring than that. She continues to shoot as Pease acknowledges and respects that she is trying. Eloise is next, and Pease says that now is the time to bring out confidence. Kane says that Tahnee was really unsure, and she says that she was trying but couldn’t fully let go. Pease asks her if she is unsure, and she says “I don’t know”, which to him translates as yes. Clare does decently, and Adele for once looks completely unlike Alice Burdeu. With the red hair and the fringe, Adele looks a little like Alice sometimes, but with the face to the side and the wind I have to say that it really showed Adele’s face structure to the best. Laura is trying too hard and Lola starts with the wrong leg, with Pease telling her she HAS to start with her left. Pease says that it was a poor performance-”where’s the confidence gone?” Cassi does decently, and Pease says that she has one of those faces where if she gets it right, she will be unstoppable, but if you get it slightly wrong it fails. Maddy is last, and Pease thought it would be a train wreck but she came back fighting, with one of her shots getting “Your Best Shot Ever!” billing and well, she was quite surprised.

Back at the mansion, Eloise and Tahnee put a McDonald’s (Seared Chicken) bag and cup on Mikarla’s bed, with cigarette butts in them and a “No Smoking” symbol and “BUSTED” written on them. Cue meltdown from Mikarla who insinuates that them eating ice cream is the same as her smoking. She grabs Cassi, and goes to confront Tahnee and Eloise, telling Tahnee that she is fat and needs to lose weight. Eloise gets to the defence but Mikarla fights back. Cassi then empties the contents into Eloise’s bed. Lola says that “on a rainy day like today, who needs TV when you have drama like this in the house?” She’s been more invisible this episode, thankfully…I think they’re trying to make her likeable. Anywhoo, she gets Sarah Mail:
“It has been said that regret is insight that comes a day too late. Will you go home wishing your insight had arrived on time? Elimination is just around the corner. Ladies, prepare yourselves to lose another”.
Laura thinks that two girls are going, and Adele wonders how she got to that conclusion that it would be tonight, but she definitely thinks one is coming soon. It is definitely time for another meeting at the Elimination Warehouse, and Lola says it’s too soon for her to leave, she hasn’t learned everything she needs to learn. Mikarla does not want to go, and Tahnee wants to be there until she’s a grandma. WTF is up with Clare and the thigh-highs though? Anywhoo, Sarah tells them that this week was about movement and executing the flawless runway walk-it’s about stride, posture, and bringing something unique. The prizes are run down again, and for the Maybelline thing, will it be just Australia, or worldwide? If it was the latter, THAT would be interesting. The guest judges this week are Kane Skenner and…wait for it…Joh Bailey. Honestly, could they have not brought in Monty or Mink? That’s just me though. Anyway, Eloise is first, and she thinks she did all right-she went out and did her best. The picture comes up and there is movement, but Sarah thinks she could be stronger in the face. Charlotte says that it lacks strength, and she’s had week after week to work on it. Sarah knows it was a tough week for Cassi, because runway is not her strength, and she says she works better when she’s not thinking. Charlotte says that a lot of models today aren’t thinking-”just empty your head”. The photo comes up and she knows it isn’t her best. I personally think she has a bit of an Inguna Butane look to her, but that’s just me. Laura is next, and Charlotte sees absolutely no strength with Sarah saying it’s the exact opposite of the brief. Madison is next and the judges gasp in surprise-saying that it’s absolutely amazing. Sarah does not see a girl who doesn’t know how to move and that is all the more amazing. Adele gets glowing reviews as well, with it getting hailed as her best shot so far, however Clare’s is called cheesy by Sarah and Lola is a bit timid-Joh says “You’re a big, strong, beautiful girl and you need a big, strong, beautiful walk”. Mikarla is first asked about her attitude, and then it’s the photo-which the judges actually like! Alex says that she got the best dress of the bunch, which gives a sense of movement. Franky is told that she has the right stuff, and the judges don’t have anything to say, until Sarah tells her that she was the one who was chosen for the promotional campaign! Honestly, I would have gone Maddy for this one. Tahnee, meanwhile, had a great week but knows she was lacking in the energy department at the photo shoot. And well, the photo puts Charlotte to sleep as Sarah sees absolutely no strength. “Oh well, at least you got a nice wardrobe” Charlotte says, as it’s deliberation time. Sarah is worried about Tahnee, and Kane says that maybe she wasn’t on the ball that day but there is something there within her. Charlotte really like’s Lola’s shot, and she’s been waiting a long time to like a picture of Lola’s, but she has to keep ramping it up, and Sarah knows they are running out of time. Sarah says that Mikarla is a tricky case because she actually pulled off a good photo shoot this week, but the attitude was completely different. Charlotte wants to further inspect the shot. Cassi’s shot is one of the worst, and Charlotte says that you can’t question that she has delivered but Alex says she is not safe. More deliberations, probably regarding Eloise (“You can’t put her in the B2″-Alex “I can do whatever I want”-Charlotte). Franky is safe, and Kane loved Adele while Joh doesn’t get her at all.

With all the girls back, Sarah says that they keep girls with not only potential, but a strong desire to be there-and she calls a bunch of girls forward: Adele (who had her best shot so far after being previously branded as a one-trick pony), Franky (whose confidence returned thanks to the runway, which is her forte), Tahnee, Maddy, Lola (“we keep asking for the sexy, confident Lola to come out-but we’re not going to wait much longer”), Laura, and Clare. With Eloise, Mikarla, and Cassi still standing there, Sarah reveals that two of them will go home-Tahnee is shocked shitless, and all of them have to pick their jaws up off the floor. Cassi’s walk improved with practice, but her attitude isn’t and she needs to keep her anger in check more-not to mention her weakest photo yet. Mikarla was sullen, unprofessional, and she struggled on the runway. She seemed to pull off the photoshoot, but there was only ONE confident shot. (She’s toast) Eloise has been told for weeks to work on her expressions, and for weeks, they’ve been disappointed. Cassi is called forward to get her photo, but she tells Sarah that Mikarla deserves it more as she is trying the hardest-she tells Sarah she doesn’t deserve it. Everyone is crying as the two losers leave, and Eloise is mad that Cassi didn’t go. Oooh look! Someone has the Dame Edna poster! (MAC collaborated with Dame Edna for a pretty craptastic collection) Mikarla didn’t think she would leave that day, but she wants Tahnee to win. Eloise, meanwhile, wants Maddy to win.

Next week: It’s to the farm where the girls dress in costumes, play with animals, and one girl threatens to walk. They then go on a road trip for a photoshoot in the outback, and the challenge apparently involves diamonds.

We open up at the end of last week’s episode, with Georgie and Leah standing as the B2, and Georgie says that her heart was about to beat out of her chest. Being in the bottom has made her realize that she needs to step her game up big-time. Laura says she wishes that Cassi had gone, because she loved Leah and isn’t so fond of Cassi. Cassi, meanwhile, says that she’s done two good photos and she thinks all the girls are seeing her as a threat. The next morning, they are all eating breakfast, and Georgie goes to the lounge area and sees a giant blue box-form Sarah Mail. It says
“Let me cut to the chase; try these on for size”. They peel back the tissue, and they’re wigs. Laura figures out the “CUT” part of “cut to the chase” and they are all excited for makeovers. Lola notes that Franky put on the long black wig and is like “Oooh I’m gonna get a weave, I’m gonna get extensions, blah blah”. She then says that Franky DEFINITELY thought she was getting extensions. They all head over to Myer, where there is the Joh Bailey salon, and Lola notes it’s awesome that Joh himself is there with Sarah and Pease-”it’s gonna be a good day”. Pease introduces the girls to Joh, “the man with his name on the wall and a few pictures”, and says that he is personally going to work on all of their hair. Joh says that they all have beautiful faces, but they’re going to get the hair and the edge to get them over the line.

Sarah tells them point-blank that they have to get over any emotional attatchment to their hair. Heh…like that ever happens. We’ve seen meltdowns galore before, and we’re always guaranteed one each season. She says that being a good model is about being a chameleon and embracing versatility, and winning this competition is about doing just that. Then the changes are announced. Mikarla is going shorter in the back with long layers in the front, and “blonder-than-blonde” (at that, Lola notes how the smile was wiped completely off her face). Adele is going to be a fire-engine red, which really excites her and the other girls. Tahnee is getting highlights and lowlights, as well as lots of extensions (“when she told me that I was getting extensions, I was like “Bring it on”"). Laura is asked what she would say if they said “shave it off” and she is almost tearing up, kind of freaking out, but Sarah says they aren’t going to. Oooh, tricky. I like how they do that to random girls to see what they would say. She is, however, getting a very sharp bob like Katie Holmes, with a strong bang. (Blech, I hate bangs) Pease says “Franky, you know I think your hair’s a bit shopping mall, so today, we’re going to crop it. It’s got to go. That’s what’s going to make you a high-fashion model”. She immediately starts crying and she says that she is NOT cutting her hair and she would rather be sent home. Pease notes that she didn’t like what she was going to get, and he was ready to say “See you later”. “If a girl thinks they know better than Joh Bailey, Sarah Murdoch, and myself, and they’ve just gotten here, forget about it. Can’t be bothered.” He asks her what is so important about it and she says her hair doesn’t grow, she’s been growing it for 18 years, and Sarah immediately asks if she doesn’t trust that they’re going to make her look the best she can look. See, I like this. Sarah, Pease, and Joh are allowing no bullshit from any of the girls, and they should know that if they go into the competition they should be prepared to shave their head. Sarah says it’s unbelievable that Franky would leave the competition in order to save her hair. Pease says that the mirrors are covered-they aren’t going to see the results until the end of the day. See, I think that is unfair. In that situation, I would say “Then I’m not doing it-I require a mirror”. The girls then start getting their services, and Sarah says a transformation like this can take them from schoolgirl to magazine cover. She also says that she said earlier that the attatchment to hair is not good for this business, and it was interesting to see some of the reactions-Franky’s was the biggest of all. Sarah talks to Franky, who wants to call her mum, and she said she doesn’t think she has the face to suit the cut. Sarah said “She really didn’t want to cut that hair-but you don’t always get what you want”. She then brings up the professionalism bit again, and saying that all the girls are getting changes. She eventually goes through with it, but Laura and Mikarla are not thrilled with the tantrum-Mikarla noting she’s getting a frickin’ Victoria Beckham haircut, and that they “aren’t going to do a Michael Jackson on her by tanning her skin white”. More haircuts, including Madison looking like Cousin It between all the foils and clips. Joh, while working on Mikarla, says he’s not used to people dreading the haircuts, and Pease says that people pay good money for this. Mikarla is freaking out because she can feel the scissors, while Franky is accepting her fate, noting that they had to put a straightening cream in in order to get the curls out. Lola plays around, using a portion of her hair as a mustache, and Laura is very confident because Joh is doing her hair. She describes seeing “12 years of hair” on the floor, and says it’s very surreal. Pease notes they could make a hat out of all of it. He also notes that transformation week is good because they let go of the girl they once were, and become the model that they make them. “Stars rise, and stars fall”.

It’s time for reveals! Eloise is first, and she has more volume as well as a lot of highlights and a bit of curl. She loves how it will make her stand out. Adele is fire-engine red with layers-she totally has the Alice Burdeu colour. Madison says “Hey Barbie” as she gets a lot of highlights as well as presumably some deep-conditioning, as Pease says “No more surfie chick”. He says her old hair was one-trick pony…holding a surfboard, walking down the beach. Now she looks like a model. Mikarla fakes enthusiasm as she is revealed, noting that the other girls are saying “Oh you look so good” but she says “Yeah, you’ve got fucking hair extensions”. Cassi’s cut and colour are the same as what she usually does, but Lola wishes they had shaved her hair for “entertainment”. Georgie’s hair is shorter and darker, but she still worries Pease as she is starting to “blend”. Tahnee has extensions, Clare has a side part, and Lola as well-as Sarah notes that for some girls, they didn’t need a huge transformation because what they already had worked for them-but for people like Franky and Laura, it was worth a big change. Laura is next and she definitely has the Katie Holmes look-I wish they had given her the Eugenia Mandzhieva haircut from a few seasons ago, which was a graduated bob. She loves it though, and says it’s really “edgy”. Sarah notes that Laura had the biggest reaction, and loved her attitude the whole day, seeing the huge change and taking it on board and be willing to work with it. Franky is revealed last, and she almost has a bit of the Rihanna look. Pease notes that “the biggest whinger, the biggest crier, comes out on top”, and that she looks like a completely different person. Joh gathers them all and tells them that they look like a bunch of girls at a casting, not a random smattering of girls. Sarah notes though that they have more transformation to come, so she wishes them luck for the week.

Back at the house, Jonathan calls all the girls down, and introduces them to Nigel Stanislaus, the head makeup artist for Maybelline, who will give them the “Model Makeup Master Class”. He notes that a nice, clean face is what they need to start with, and that’s the difference between a top model and a newbie is that the top model knows what works for her face. He notes to never put blush right on the cheekbone, as “this isn’t Xanadu or Rocky Horror”. Lola notes that it’s a lot of stuff, but in the end it looks…boring. Also any makeup artist worth their salt knows you do NOT put foundation on first, because eye makeup can have fallout so you do the eye first. The girls are then put in pairs or in the case of Tahnee, Eloise, and Laura, a triad, and are given 45 minutes to do a full face. Adele is with Clare, Franky is with Madison, Georgie with Mikarla, and Lola with Cassi. Mikarla notes that they kind of cheated, doing little bits on themselves when Jonathan wasn’t looking-and they got busted. Nigel then gives them Sarah Mail, which has a DVD in it as well.
“We have seen you looking pretty in a picture, but now it’s time to bring that model to life. Tomorrow, you will perform in a Maybelline New York television commercial. You must come up with one line of dialogue about the new Colossal Volume mascara or about the Maybelline New York girl. This DVD may offer some inspiration. They go and watch it, and Cassi picks her line already that “none of yous can steal”, as Lola says. Cassi says she said her line to make sure that nobody else takes it, while Franky decides to keep hers to herself because she doesn’t want anyone else to steal it. Smart move, Franky. The next morning, they all go to a car park on top of a building, where Nigel and Jonathan are waiting. Pease says that the challenge will be them putting on mascara, getting out of a car, and delivering one line of dialogue. The first girl can say what she wants, but no other girl can say something that has already been said. Unknown to them, however, Nigel ranked them based on yesterday’s performances. Oooh, tricky! That is the order they will go in. Tahnee, Adele, and Clare are the first three, with Mikarla not surprisingly on the bottom. She says that she cheated, so she expected it. At least she owns up to it. In hair and makeup, Clare notes that they have to work hard to impress the Maybelline people, because one girl could stand out and Maybelline may want to work with them. Tahnee is out first and she meets Michael Joy, the director, who is looking for someone who brings their personality to the set. She does well technically, but the delivery sucks. Adele is next and came with nothing. Laura comes in, and has a lot of ideas to make it fresh, and Michael loves it. Clare says that “getting out of a car and saying a few lines isn’t brain surgery, but when you’re nervous and have a million things in your head it can be hard”. Cassi is rehearsing downstairs, and Lola thinks it would be funny to steal a bit of her line. Lola is up next, and steals the entire line. She notes that she goes off set…and it’s Cassi’s turn. She does her line, but Pease says that someone just did that exact line-and the “Oh shit” is very clearly felt. She knows who stole it, but she didn’t say it out loud. She wants to rip her head off-and I second that. Cassi FTW! Pease tells her that she has been sabotaged, but she needs to be the bigger person and move on. Her new line is a lot worse though, but Pease says that simple is good. Well, not good-”she was dead before she began”. He says that defeat was all over her face and that she was a woman scorned. After the debaucle that is her shoot, she storms down and gives Lola a piece of her mind. Michael notes that Maybelline is a big client and that behaviour cannot happen-she would have been off the books if it had. She goes to bitch in the elevator and hits the wall, noting that she needs to work out a better way of doing things and saying that she only hit the wall once. Eloise is up next shooting and is quite distracted from the whole Lola-Cassi thing that her performance suffers. Madison’s is a bit dry, Franky has the “Maybelline New York attitude”, while Georgie tries to do an American accent. Mikarla is last and after a couple flub-ups, she nails it.

After the shoot, the girls reconverge, and they get the ultimate New York fashion package-Jimmy Choo shoes, Tiffany jewelry, Marc Jacobs purse, Coach sunglasses, and a New York style guide. The winner is…Lola. Cassi is very pissed. Lola notes that for a second, she thought that she should share with Cassi, but she couldn’t see her even IN New York. The next morning, the over-18′s are in their room and it’s 6 AM, and Adele wakes up to Sarah Mail.
“If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, make sure the lens is the beholder this morning”
The girls immediately figure out it’s going to be a beauty shoot, and Laura says “natural makeup, just focusing”. That’s what many beauty shots are, although more often than not it’s crazy makeup. Lashes, gold leaf, the works. They get to the Swain Gardens, which are a beautiful tropical gardens, and Franky thinks it may be a nude shot. Pease welcomes them and says that today is all about a natural beauty shot-finding their natural beauty. Their photographer, Bec Parsons, is apparently “the queen of shooting beautiful girls in natural environments” and she says it’s minimal hair and makeup, natural light-just them being themselves. Pease says that beauty is a prerequisite, but they have to deliver something more. A lot of the girls will get tripped up. Mikarla is first, and she has a problem with watery eyes that can’t give her a good shot. Bec says the task wasn’t that hard, and Mikarla knew it, so that’s where the waterworks began. Georgie is up and seems to be doing decent, followed by Eloise who is channeling Gisele. Tahnee is so good that Bec is considering shooting her for an editorial, because she has an effortless beauty that clearly shows. Lola has trouble softening her mouth, and Madison has trouble softening her brows. Laura does well, with Pease noting that the haircut did wonders for her, and Adele seems to do well as well. Bec LOVES Clare, ticking almost every shot as a yes. Franky, on the other hand, can’t get her personality to come through in the pictures. Finally, Cassi has some elements in the face that remind Bec of Kate Moss, and Pease says that the top three are clearly Cassi, Clare, and Tahnee. After the shoot, Pease gives them a Sarah Mail, which comes in the form of a video on his phone. Lola notes that tomorrow is Friday, and eliminations are Saturdays-so this threw them for a loop.

Back at the house, the girls confront Franky about how fake she has been, and Eloise is the best to do it, but Franky defends herself by saying that everyone has said something nasty about someone else and it is her turn. Seriously, WTF?!? Be the bigger woman. After more fighting between Franky and Cassi, Eloise, and Mikarla, Mikarla grabs Franky’s name off the wall and throws it down the stairs. It’s Elimination Warehouse Time though! Franky says she wouldn’t be surprised if she leaves, because of what happened at the makeover. Mikarla says she wouldn’t be surprised if she goes, and if it were up to Cassi Lola would go. Sarah, who doesn’t look happy, says that their job is made harder this week by the hair and makeup transformations. The guest judges are Nigel and Bec, predictably. Franky is first, and Sarah notes it was a tough start to the week because of the makeover, but the feedback on the hair was good. She just hopes she can carry off the natural shot. Her picture is revealed and it’s interesting because she isn’t looking directly into the camera. She says it’s okay, but Charlotte says “Okay? It’s gorgeous!”. Clare’s shot that they chose? I’m not liking it as much. Sarah notes that she looked totally different, but I don’t like her mouth in this one. Laura’s shot wins praise, with Charlotte saying that she has to embrace it because she’s become a totally different girl. Mikarla gets the news that only 5 frames of 100 had her eyes open, and she starts apologizing. Madison disappointed Sarah, because she’s the “natural girl” yet she couldn’t get softness in her face. Cassi is up next, and Sarah says that her emotion destroyed the commercial. Charlotte says that it’s like her saying “fuck” at the end of the catwalk on the first day-she just can’t do it. She says that she is trying to work on things, and Sarah says that she’s handled everything well so far but she needs to control her temper. The photo comes up and Sarah says “Yet another”. I don’t like the open mouth here, but that’s just me. Bec says that she was one of the favourites on the day, and loves how she could change her face. Charlotte loves it as well, and Sarah wants her to hold it together because she wants somebody who has it all. Lola is next and she is asked about the whole line-stealing thing, and she was doing it to be cheeky but it didn’t come across as that way. The picture though is panned. Alex says that he hasn’t seen her best shot yet, and that incredible pictures are to come. Adele is a one-look wonder according to Bec-not a lot of variety. Georgie’s shot makes her look 12, according to her, and Sarah says it looks like someone completely different. Alex says he hates it-there’s no connection. Beauty is not her forte. Tahnee is up, and Charlotte says that she looks like a woman. Alex says that it looks very Elle Italia. Eloise’s shot gives Sarah goosebumps and Nigel says that Eloise doesn’t realize what she has-if he had that he would be walking down the street, working it. Oh, and Nigel? LOSE THAT GODDAMNED SCARF. The keffiyeh scarf trend is dead.

Anywhoo, it’s judgement time. Bec says that there are three girls she would walk away and shoot with. Cassi is someone who they are worried about, because of her mental instability, but she is absolutely safe. Lola is like a diamond according to Nigel, but can be a bit dull. Charlotte is having none of that and says she’s more like a lump of coal. Georgie, according to Alex, is beautiful in real life but it doesn’t translate onto film. Madison’s “bulldog” mouth is a bit of a problem, as it didn’t change from shot to shot. They are definitely not sure about her. Alex says that Franky’s photo is kind of average, and to him, Mikarla is down the bottom. Charlotte wants to keep her, however, because there is something that could surprise them all. Alex says that “some girls are fabulous, and other ones are so scary they’re testing my Botox”. Back in the room, Tahnee gets her photo first as Sarah says that the schoolgirl is gone and she has become a womanly model. Eloise gets hers, then Cassi, who is told she is consistent in photos but needs to keep her temper under control. Claire, Franky, Laura, and Lola get theirs, followed by Adele and Madison. Georgie and Mikarla are the B2. Georgie is told that they thought she would nail the beauty shot, but it didn’t materialize. Mikarla, on the other hand, struggled with confidence the whole week and was unable to conquer her environment at the photo shoot-which seriously worried the judges. Mikarla gets her picture, and Sarah says that Georgie has potential but they may have just gotten her TOO young-she might have a career ahead of her. Back packing up, she says there’s no way she’s giving up, as there is so much she can do and achieve. She picks Tahnee as her winner.

Next week: The girls bring glamour to the hood. Mikarla hopes Cassi would leave, and Lola notes that they’re where the homeless people sleep. Sarah is losing patience with a girl who is coming in and making fun of everything. Also they’re teasing Cassi vs. Clare-with a runway challenge in a fruit market. I am guessing that next week is runway week, and it would make sense as they’ve had fitness week, makeover week, and now runway week.

We begin with footage from last panel, where Adele was given the last of the pictures. She says that she is more determined now after having survived the Bottom 2, and she does not want to go home. If she didn’t she swore she was going to try her absolute best. Laura goes for a kiss and cry with the 12 survivors, and Lola says that she was the life of the party-dancing and yelling-and she will be missed. Not to Cassi, who is glad that she is gone because she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her. Way to tell us how you really feel! Clare says that now everybody is going to step up their game, and it will be QUITE interesting. After elimination, they are taken out to dinner as a celebration, and we see a bunch of the girls dancing. Mikarla gets a little trashed, and ends up getting on the tables with Cassi joining her-as Lola says, nothing too bad or risque. Mikarla doesn’t think so, saying that she thinks Cassi is latching onto her, and they’re back at the house the next morning where she says that she’ll be sitting and Cassi will sit by her. If she goes upstairs, Cassi follows, if she’s in the shower Cassi is by the door. Cassi’s plan, however, is to concentrate on the competition. She doesn’t care if she makes friends or if everyone hates her, she is there to win and she is there for herself and only herself.

In a feat of bad editing, the girls are asleep as a Bentley pulls up to the house. There’s a knock which Franky runs to answer-and it’s Sarah. She tells Franky to have everyone come down to the living room because there is someone very important for them to meet. Franky is very excited to see Sarah, because she wants to know what is going on, and Clare says that they had about 5 seconds to get downstairs, where Sarah is waiting with a “nutritionalist”. Lola is not thrilled that she is going to talk to them about their “di-etsssssssssss”. Sarah says that one thing she knows after modeling for years is that you need to have the right amount of energy to get through the long days and shoots-so in order to help them, she brings in a nutritional expert to give them tips and advice. Her first question-who smokes? Cassi, Mikarla, and Lola raise their hands, to Joanna’s horror, who says that it is so “last century”. Mikarla says it’s embarrassing that Sarah knew she was a smoker. She then explains how smoking causes premature aging, and how if one half of a set of identical twins smoked, the smoker would look 10-20 years older. She implores them to quit, and Cassi says that she will cut down and quit when she gets to the end of the packet…packets. Sarah says that the girls in Europe right now are unattractively skinny, and when she did catwalks it was scary to see the girls with eating disorders. Mikarla says that she doesn’t have one. Yeah, but she’s a smoker. She says that she can’t put on weight, and she worried about the swimwear shoot because of the visible ribs. Back in the room, she says she is willing to do whatever to work on it, and Joanna tells them all to flip to the plate in their nutrition guides. The diagram is 50% fruits and vegetables, about 25% quality carb-rich food, 20% protein-rich food, and the final 5% seems to be fats/oils. Joanna says that they can have their pasta, they just need to watch their portion sizes. Mikarla asks what she can eat that would help her put on weight quickly and Joanna says it’s a matter of eating more-the girls need to absolutely eat 3 meals a day, plus one or two snacks-and the best snacks are yogurts, smoothies, nuts/seeds, and fresh fruit. And by smoothies, she means fruit, juice, and ice. Not a Jamba Juice creation. Franky says that she knows what is healthy and what is not, and she’s in a modeling competition-part of that is staying healthy and looking good.

Sarah then announces that it is part two of the lesson, and she has provided athleticwear for the girls to change into. Clare isn’t feeling it, saying that as soon as the rack was revealed she thought they would have to do exercise.

Insert Amazing Race Gong Here.

Mikarla says that she was shitting herself because she hasn’t done any fitness in 18 years, and Tahnee says that there was an overall feeling of dread since exercise is none of their favourite things to do. At the gym, Sarah announces it’s not a workout, but a reality check-who has been neglecting themselves? The collective “Oh Shit” could not be clearer courtesy of Franky. She introduces the girls to B.J. who says they are going to test their chronological age versus their fitness age. They will be tested on cardiovascular, flexibility, strength, and of course, body composition. Lots of measurements, weighing, and Cassi. Apparently she has one bad vertebrae, weak ankles, and should have gotten knee reconstruction but she stopped playing netball. Franky says it’s just another excuse, as Cassi comes up with excuses all the time for everything and it’s getting irritating. She steps on the scale and well, she’s lost weight, which she is in tears over. More testing on step-ups, push-ups, crunches, and complaining…from Franky. Clare says that Franky was saying that Cassi got to do easy push-ups (the weakest ones ever) along with her, and Clare admits it…”thank God, cause I did one proper push-up and I almost passed out”. Mikarla is able to do 6 push-ups, which she thinks is the worst of the group. B.J. then puts their stats in the computer, and Leah is called up first. Her fitness age? 42-21 body, 77 cardio, 35 flex, 28 strength. She is mortified, as Tahnee is up next. Her age? 26-21 body, 40 cardio, 18 flex, 22 strength. The girls are proud of her for that one. Cassi is up next with a 41. 18 body, 47 cardio, 80 flex, 24 strength. She says that she was shocked-her mum could get a better age than that. Franky, Ms. I-Know-Healthy, has a 34-20 body, 57 cardio, 30 flex, 26 strength. Mikarla actually gets a 35-18 on both body and cardio, but a 71 on flex and a 46 on strength. Eloise is 45-20, 60, 80, and 21, which clearly embarrasses her. She knew it was coming though because her flexibility was “below par, to say the least” but it’s never nice to be the bottom of the group. We don’t see the rest of the stats, but it goes like this:
Tahnee (16/26)
Madison (17/28)
Laura (20/31)
Franky (18/34)
Clare (16/34)
Mikarla (18/35)
Georgie (16/35)
Adele (18/38)
Lola (20/40)
Cassi (16/41)
Leah (18/42)
Eloise (20/45)
B.J. says the reason for their failure today is because they haven’t been exercising and taking fitness seriously, but from here on out, they should do so. Leah says that nobody got a good fitness age and they’re all freaking out, so they are going to be working out a lot more and eating better. Cassi says she is going to start working out more and well, she walked home-actually stepped out and had a smoke. Franky thought it was funny that she did that, because it proved she learned nothing from the lesson. I mean, while I like the fact that Sarah wants the smokers to quit, the reality is that you’re the exception to the rule in the modeling world if you DON’T smoke-and yes, there are the 16-year olds who do smoke. Cassi says the reason why she went for a smoke was because she was upset and stressing out, because she’s lost weight-and she illustrates that she wants her rolls back.

After the break, the girls go outside and they see 6 little gymnasts doing tricks with a trampoline and such. One of the girls gives a Sarah Mail to Madison, which reads:
“Even if you fall down face first, you’ve gone forward-it’s time to find out what your bodies are capable of!”
The collective groan could be heard a mile away, as Franky knows that it has something to do with fitness and pushing themselves-and she is terrified because she can’t even do a cartwheel, let alone flips. That makes two of us, Franky. Georgie thought they were going to get makeovers (she needing it the most with that fugly scene/emo hair) and “that ruined the idea”. They go to the gym, where Pease is, along with “beams and trampolines…okay, sweet”. Sarcasm provided free of charge by Lola. Pease welcomes them to Westfield Gymnastics, and he explains that they’ve probably figured out they are going to get challenged in every sense of the word-it’s a crash course in gymnastics-top model style. Adele says that she did half a year of gymnastics when she was young and she was so bad at it that her mum pulled her out. Pease says that they are going to be working with the current Australian national gymnastics champion-and an Olympian to boot-Dasha Joura-as well as the choreographer from the national team. Leah says that she has never done gymnastics or any of that, so she knew she was “going to be absolutely shit”. Stacy, who I am guessing is American, says it is important that the girls look and feel like gymnasts, so she has some outfits for them. The girls groan as Pease unveils…leotards and flesh-coloured leggings. Lola says that when they all came back out, they were feeling pretty silly. Stacy has them sit down, with Dasha demonstrating, as she leads them in stretches. Clare says it was very intimidating to have Dasha there doing the moves perfectly, as Stacy tells the girls to get into the splits. Cassi says that the only person who could kind of do them was Tahnee-the rest of them failed. Next it’s forward rolls, which for Franky are All Over/Sideways Rolls. Dasha says that it’s a great challenge for the girls because they were in an unfamiliar environment and it was a surprise to them, as the most graceful moment we see is Madison’s dismount off the beam. Cassi is sitting over on the side with an icepack on her shoulder, which she apparently hurt doing the backwards rolls. Mikarla then butts in and says that she needs to get back up, because they’ve all pulled a muscle at some point, to which Pease says something about how Cassi doesn’t need to prove anything to the peanut gallery! HA! Mikarla thinks that she’s just putting on an act and that Cassi is the fakest person she has ever seen, while Cassi is not thrilled with Mikarla and whinges about it to Lola. Pease then announces that they have had time to figure out what they are going to do-and it’s judgement time. The three of them are going to be looking for originality and technical merit and HOLY CRAP PEASE’S SHOES ARE BRIGHT! Anywhoo, he says the winner is getting a “fantastic prize”. Pease says that challenges like today, win or lose, show him what the girls are like in the competition, and Cassi showed him that she is ready to give up before she wins. We see the girls doing their routines, and Franky says that Clare’s was laughable. She’s annoyed The Pease though, because of the sarcastic look she has on her face and the fact that she is joking around, but this is a challenge day, they need to be serious.

On the sidelines, Cassi notes that the only person who was bringing modeling into it was Clare-the rest of them were not as good. She says that she would have done better. After deliberating, Pease says that Laura had highs and lows-and gets a 4.5. Mikarla gets a 3.5 for looking to the judges and other girls for approval. She says that she didn’t take it as a joke, but she felt like an idiot dancing around in that leotard, which is not her at all. Leah had absolutely no modeling, and gets a 1-to which Laura thought more was deserved. Adele apparently gets a 2. Tahnee is next and gets a 9, however Clare gets a 9.5 because she brought fashion to the floor, which is what the challenge was all about. She ends up winning the challenge, which shocked her, and she gets to go to the ballet with Sarah the next night-which entailed a beautiful dress and the VIP treatment. She gets to choose one person to go with, and no surprise, she picks Tahnee, which is what I would have done-she got the second-highest score, and if I won challenges, I would take the runners-up, if it was easy to score. Pease then says that this is what challenges are all about-there are losers and one winner, so work harder next time. Back at the house, Tahnee explains that Cassi went to the doctor’s and came back with a sling-Cassi says that it potentially is a sprained muscle. Everyone thinks she made a big deal out of nothing, and Mikarla especially sees some fakeness because she takes it off the next day because “she’s fine. What a surprise”. Franky then says that Mikarla confronting Cassi was funny, because they all want Cassi gone. Adele explains it in the most unbiased way she could, saying that Mikarla wants Cassi gone because she doesn’t think she is taking the competition as seriously as she could. After a confrontation in the closets, Cassi goes for a cry on the balcony. Sarah then comes to pick up the winners, who were both given nice dresses to wear, and they leave in the Bentley. Mikarla was jealous because they had to stay home and do nothing. In previous seasons of this show, the losers of the challenge actually had a punishment-be it cleaning the house or what not.

Madison says she is jealous, but she then made them all lasagna. The winners pull up to the Royal Theatre and Tahnee is excited because she loves ballet, while Clare is scared she’s going to flash her undies. They are seeing a show called Morphoses and they are excited, especially Clare, especially when they are walking in and being stared at-well mainly Sarah-”but it was fun to be her shadow”. After the show, they are introduced to Lucinda and Ayesha, two of the dancers. Clare says it’s amazing how perfect their bodies are and how they can control them, and Lucinda says that every shape they make has to be “pretty”, or aesthetically correct as a dancer, and she’s sure it’s the same for models. Tahnee, meanwhile, has speech block, especially standing next to Clare who uses-wait for it-BIG WORDS! Clare says that this was good that they got to know the human side of Sarah and not the “scary judge side” of her. Tahnee says it puts them at an advantage because Sarah knows them better than the other girls.

The next morning, there are balloons in the entryway, which excites the girls, and they pull down a balloon with Sarah Mail which is handed to Mikarla:
“You know there’s no time at all for self-doubt. So get up, with both your body and your mind-Time to put your newfound skills to work!” The girls know it is a photoshoot, and some of them even suggest that it will be on a trampoline. Clare says that they were coming up with all sorts of theories-being attached to a balloon, launched in the air, and forced to pose, jumping on a trampoline and posing in the air (a la ANTM 3-that was actually one of the better shoots), and so forth. Someone says bungee harnesses, and Cassi seconds that. Lola notes that with elimination coming, they are all nervous that they have to nail it. Eloise notes that she is not too fond of heights, so she was crapping herself. After the break, the girls are walking on a path down a hill by the water, and Clare wonders if they were going to have to jump off a jetty or something. Franky thought they had to do something in the air on the water, and she was like “Oh no-I suck at water”. A yacht pulls up for the girls, to their surprise, and Tahnee is excited that they are sitting on leather seats. They end up at Cockatoo Island, where there is no set or anything-but the warehouse excites Adele, as she feels it is going to be fun. Pease greets them and says that this week was all about “flexibility, balance, coordination, and poise”, which Mikarla says she is no good at. He then breaks it to the girls that they are shooting for Cosmopolitan, which sends Laura’s jaw to the floor. To amp up the pressure further, the editor of Cosmo Australia, Bronwyn McCahon, is there. She wants the girls to tap into the dramatic nature of fashion this season, and the shots will be a part of an 8-page edit in Cosmo-but not all the girls will be picked. Leah says it would be a very good opportunity for her, but her gymnastic inability has her in doubt. Bronwyn then introduces Ellen Dahl, their photographer, who is looking for whimsical elegance and poise in every frame. Pease then says that there are 12 of them, but 8 pages-don’t be in the bottom 4.

Adele is first up, and Bronwyn notes the first-girl jitters, but Pease really had to bring a lot out of her. She is posing in a hoop as he reminds her what this week was about-pushing herself to her physical limits. Laura is next and is definitely very creative with her posing, saying that she needs to go harder to push beyond her limits. She falls out of the hoop, and Pease admires how she really went for it and put her body on the line. I have to say, I don’t like her look but she’s definitely getting some good shots. She almost falls out a few times, and she says that it’s the most physically demanding thing she’s ever had to do. Eloise is the next victim of the hoop, and her face just screams terror and Bronwyn says it’s total deer-in-headlights. Tahnee is in a very physically-demanding position and eventually, they are able to get a good shot of her. Cassi is on the ribbons, and she nails it and it shows-whimsical but sexy and strong. Franky says that she is a dark horse-presents herself as weak but turns it out on photoshoot day. Georgie is boring, while Mikarla gets into it. Madison is a bit tight in the face, and Leah…no comment. She looked sedated when she tried to do dreamy shots. Before Franky goes, Pease pulls her aside and she is crying-”less of this (gestures at mouth), more of this (gestures at ears)”. She feels like he hates her, and he said that he wouldn’t even bother if he hated her. He apparently has been telling her about the kinks in her personality for awhile now, and the fact that it boiled over at the shoot is a surprise. He doesn’t want her to be all psyched out before the shoot though, so she is told to calm down. Lola says that all the girls were surprised at Franky crying, thinking that it was the pressure of the competition and that it’s driving home how real it is. She is up on the trapeze, and Pease tells her she needs to bring innocence to the outfit-but I’m seeing a whole lotta nothing. She puts on a bit of a smirk in some of them at Emma’s direction, noting that she is trying to listen more. Clare is next on the trapeze, and she loves the big ballgown she is wearing, but more importantly, she uses the ballet as a lesson by maintaining a serene face-”if they can do it, so can I”. Pease says it is perfect, that she nailed it-and I definitely agree. Can’t say the same about Lola, who cannot shake the nerves, and Pease notices. He says that in this competition, you compete not only against the other girls, but against yourself-and Lola lost against herself.

Back at the house, Cassi had a really nice $40 dress for elimination that is, well hideous-Mikarla says she wouldn’t even wear it to bed. They take the dress and all take their turns trying it on, and they do a mock elimination with Lola wearing the dress, Tahnee as Alex Perry, and Franky providing profanity-laced commentary. Cassi says that if she had seen them wearing her dress, she would be pissed. And it’s Sarah Mail time!
“It’s odd how much it hurts when a friend leaves and only the sound of silence remains. Prepare to say goodbye, elimination beckons…”
Franky says that Mikarla was hoping that Cassi would go-”just like the rest of us”. One of the girls says “See ya later, Cass”. They show up at Elimination Warehouse and Cassi is wearing that hideous dress. She says that if the other girls want her eliminated, it’s because she is a serious threat. Georgie says she would be devestated if she was eliminated ont he second week, because she doesn’t want to go yet. Leah thinks that she is in a safer place than most people, “hopefully…”. Sarah welcomes the girls and says that this week was all about the body-but first, the prizes! Representation for 12 months by Priscilla’s, which represents Alice, Alex, Rebecca, Demelza, and more, with introduction to New York-based affliates. A $20000 trip to New York courtesy of Maybelline, along with being the face for their new colour collection. A 8 page spread in Harper’s Bazaar Australia, and $20000 cash, courtesy of U by Kotex. Yes, the “Love Your Beaver”. She also introduces the judges-Bronwyn and Emma joining Charlotte and the sunglass-loving Alex Perry. Clare is the first up, and she is asked if the gymnastics lesson helped in the photo shoot this week. She says yes, because it gave her an idea of how to control her body. The photo comes up and the chosen one has her standing on the trapeze, and Alex says it was complicated but she made it look effortless. She will be published. Adele is next and Emma didn’t like her movements at first, but Alex says it takes her out of “one-look wonder” category. She will be published as well. Georgie is next and her photo has her with one leg in each ribbon. She likes it, but Alex says that “nothing was brought to the party” although he likes it as a picture. However, the outfit saved her, so she is in. Madison is next on the trapeze, and Charlotte says she looks strong yet whimsical, which fulfilled the challenge, and she is in Cosmo. Leah is next, and her shot is HORRIBLE. Alex says it looks like a bad catalogue shot and completely uninspiring. Charlotte falls asleep (reminiscent of “Three bored broads, lying on a Ford! I wanted to get in the car and run them over”). She obviously is NOT going to be in Cosmo. Franky is next, and Sarah was told that she was upset walking onto the set and Franky says it was due to the conversation with Pease. She breaks down and Sarah says that as long as she isn’t making fun of what the challenge is, she is okay. The picture says “Screw you Jonathan” according to Charlotte, and the legs are amazing. She is “so in”. Eloise is a favourite of Charlotte and she wants the photo to say “I told you so” but it’s doing nothing for her. Alex says that he gets her, to which Charlotte says that he was one of the first to say he didn’t, and he replies that Charlotte simply had too much Botox. Needless to say, she is not in the magazine.

Tahnee is next up and you can see the discomfort in her eyes. Most of the judges hate it-but she made it! Mikarla is next and she is asked if she deserves to be in Cosmo and she says she tried her best, and she gets in. Lola knows her photo is crap and obviously does not get in. Cassi is commended on a good shot-but the dress? Atrocious. Alex tells her to stop wearing satin dresses during the day, but she obviously gets in Cosmo. Laura is praised for having the shot of the day, and she is asked if she has done the math and she says that she has, but all the other girls deserved it. Bronwyn then makes it a 9-page edit, because of the strength of the shot. All the girls applaud, and rightfully so! Deliberations are now, though. Mikarla is first and she is stronger but still managed to be whimsical and Charlotte says she is safe, but Alex says not in the slightest as she gave absolutely nothing. Sarah loves Madison, but Charlotte doesn’t and says that she’s a bit iffy. They love her personality, not her pictures. Tahnee, the birthday girl, had one of the worst shots of the day. Lola has become their gravy-lumps everywhere. Laura is a 10/10 this week and didn’t let the nerves stop her. Clare is absolutely safe, as the shoot was made for her-but both Sarah and Alex are worried when it comes to stronger shoots. Franky “still goes to Hollywood” and Eloise is plain. “Kill me now that Georgie-if you’ve been saved by a dress, I think that’s a modern day tragedy” Alex says, and when Leah’s photo comes up, Charlotte falls asleep and wants to be woken up when she goes home. Cassi’s photo is universally loved, and while they worry about her taste in clothing she is “absolutely brilliant”. Alex does not agree with who they want to send home-but he is outnumbered.

Back in the room, Laura gets her photo first for pushing herself and taking direction. Cassi is 2nd, and Franky’s face is priceless. She is told that as with last week, she performed beyond expectations. Clare is next, for making it look effortless. Franky has potential as a model, but needs to control her emotions. Mikarla, Adele, Tahnee, and Madison all get their photos, and Lola is next, being told that as a model it is important that she is able to control her nerves. Eloise is up next, and we have our F2-Georgie and Leah. Leah’s photoshoot was labeled uninspiring and boring, and even her angular face couldn’t show any versatility. Georgie is an uncomfortable girl saved by the professionals around her and although she made the Cosmo spread, she is still in the bottom. Predictably, Georgie gets her picture, sending Leah back to wherever she came from. Leah is told “Well done” by Sarah for making it that far, and she is sent to pack her bags. She is shocked but hopes that Mikarla wins, and is not going to be giving up.

Next week: Makeovers! Franky is asked if she would shave her head. Cassi has a meltdown at the parking garage, which is the same one as the Ford Fiesta challenge if I am not mistaken-and the judges rip her a new asshole for it! Pass the popcorn.

Anywhoo, we open up at the traditional Surreal Life/Flavor of Love house, all tricked out for Daisy. 20 outcasts-rockers, rebels, bad boys, Jersey guys…yep. This isn’t Sober House or Tool Academy-they’re all fighting for Daisy. She fell for Bret on RoL2, and then got her heart broken. She’s trying to make her mark as a singer, model, and all-around badass-but there’s one thing missing: “I want a boyfriend!”. She hopes that one of the 20 single guys has what it takes to date her-and we see footage of upcoming challenges: MMA fighting, running with a dummy while getting shot at with paintballs, a music challenge at the Knitting Factory, plus lots of fighting and testosterone.

All the guys are outside the mansion, and a stretch Hummer pulls up. One of the guys VO’s that he fell for Daisy on RoL2, and that if Bret didn’t pick her he would slap the shit out of him. Another guy says “she is so beautiful-5 feet tall, big fake boobs, blonde hair, big lips-she is my perfect girl”. Weasel says that everyone is nervous when the limo pulls up-and when the door opens, it’s Riki Rachtman. Understandably, the guys are not thrilled. He asks if they were expecting something prettier (to which Weasel says “Frickin Riki Rachtman comes out, and it was like a total boner-kill”), and then he introduces himself by saying that on RoL2, he saw a genuine girl who got her heart broken, and he’s there to make sure it doesn’t happen again. He says that after being in the rock scene for over 20 years, he’s heard every line and seen it all-he may have tried some of them himself, but there’s no way they are getting past him. He then says this is not the place for people looking for more TV time…and the camera immediately goes to 12 Pack. Yes, THAT 12 Pack. Apparently when he was in Mexico he interviewed Daisy and started to develop feelings, and then when he heard about the show, bam. He came here for Daisy, not for more TV time. Riki then asks how many of the guys are musicians, and one of the only non-musicians is 12 Pack. Riki says “Your bands suck, I don’t want to hear about it anymore”. He then sends the guys inside and one of them likes the style, with the pool table and all the guitars. They go to the main area, where there is a barricade set up around a stage-and all of a sudden, 4 dancers come out and then a very scantily-clad Daisy. Weasel says that “she was looking absolutely jaw-dropping amazing-I was pitching a tent, I’m not gonna lie”. The guys all applaud the performance, and Daisy addresses the men, saying that she sees a few rock stars. She says she has had her heart broken, but she is also a heartbreaker-and that most of them there are too, but she is there to find love. She then sends them off to find their rooms. 12 Pack, being a veteran of this, grabs the single room. Two guys there say the rest of the guys are at a disadvantage because they came there as friends. Most of the guys, however, don’t go for rooms, instead, they go straight for the booze. Weasel echoes that sentiment exactly. 12 Pack and the friend are having a drink up in the kitchen, and they say half those guys haven’t even found rooms yet. Weasel says that he’s pretty drunk-and either he’s freaking out, or there are three totally teased-out Poison guys there (84, 85, and 86, the triplets).  Some guys ask if they are wigs, and they aren’t-they wouldn’t go out with wigs. They say they are rock stars back in Sweden-their band is called “Snake of Eden”. They say they’re “alwaays gettin’ riidiiculuss” and that they are big partiers. They immediately raid the fridge for beers and salsa and something else, and Weasel says that “they probably don’t have food back in Sweden, I guess”. More partying footage, and the guy with the purple and red mohawk says “all we need are some bitches”. The longer-haired friend says that he’s going to gang up on the guy, cause he’s a douchebag.

After the break, Riki comes in and tells them to leave their drinks, and follow him. Panning down the line, most all the guys have some form of beer or other hard liquor beverage. Daisy comes out in a pink bra and skirt ensemble, and says that the guys are getting nicknames on whatever personality they are giving her. The first guy up is “Crazy Mike”, with a flannel hoodie and really, really spiked hair, as well as bright green shoes. He strips to a manthong and does a backflip, so he gets the name Flipper-as some guy asks “Can you say douchebag on TV?” Heh. A guy with a mohawk who screams is now London. Daisy then brings up the triplets, who say that they are from Sweden and that she loves their accent. Not really…she can’t understand a word they are saying. She asks them what happens if she gets with only one of them and one says “It’s like a Swedish smorgasbord”. Riki says that “it’s so creepy, with brothers” and Daisy says that they are there to date her, together-it’s buy one, get two free. Riki decides to call them 84, 85, and 86, since that was the last time it was okay to look like that. The longer-haired friend is now Sinister. Weasel gets up there and introduces himself as Pauly, from the coast of New Jersey. Daisy says that if you put a bandanna and cowboy hat on him, she’d be standing in front of Bret Michaels. Daisy decides to call him Weasel, a reference to Pauly Shore. He’s not the most thrilled, but he lives with it. Riki will not argue with that. Daisy says the naming thing is hard, since “you have to think of all these names”. The long-haired guy with the two-tone hair is now Torch, and the long-haired guy with the beanie hat and leather jacket is Dropout, due to him taking a break from college. He says that at least he isn’t Weasel…and then he wants to take Daisy out to dance. His moves though…NO. The high-school teacher with the fauxhawk is Professor. Next up is the gym manager with the “Devious” shirt, as Daisy says she is a sucker for a nice body. He gets the name Flex. Next up is the other friend, who seems to be a total softy. He hopes not to be called “Snuggle fabric softener or something”. He does, however, get something worse-Chi Chi, which is something in Spanish that is bleeped out. Next up is “we just need some bitches” Mohawk Guy, who is an exotic dancer. Daisy says that he has a nice body and a lot of potential, so Riki gives him Toolbox. Next up is the guy in a fedora who gets Brooklyn, since that’s where he’s from. The next guy has a long dreadlock beard and labret piercing, and he’s a cable technician and DJ-so he gets Cable Guy, much to his chagrin. The thick guy with the buzz cut says he drives 18-wheelers, so he gets Big Rig. The next guy up immediately goes to kiss Daisy on the cheek and then shake Riki’s hand-who comments that he looks like he lost a fight with a staple gun (he has both eyebrows pierced). Riki says “Now I’ve never asked this of a guy before, but are there any other places that you have piercings?” and Daisy is shocked, but he says “Oh yeah” and then grabs his package. “Prince Albert?” Daisy asks and he says “Yeah, a 6 gauge”. Daisy comments that a 6 gauge is the size of her thumb and names him 6 gauge, because “every time I see him I’m only going to be thinking about his yoo-hoo!”

Next up is V-Neck guy with the longish hair, and Daisy looks smitten immediately. “You look gorgeous” he says and Daisy returns the favour, but he says “It’s not about me, it’s about you”. She names him Fox, and he definitely approves. Mr. “Fight or Die” is up next, a guy with a facial tattoo as well as “Fight or Die” tatted on his neck. He appears to be a bit shy at first but Riki calls him out on the neck tat. He gets the name Cage, as he is a professional cage fighter. Next up? 12 Pack. Daisy asks him what his name is and he says “Dave…also known as 12 Pack”. She is surprised that he is there, because even though they had chemistry down in Mexico, he hooked up with Heather! We see footage of the fight again, and Daisy says that he has a long way to go before he earns her trust. He says he is there because he chose to be there, he is not there for TV-and Riki brutally lays it out that the first time he saw 12 Pack, he wasn’t even sure if he was into chicks (as we see footage of him and Heat). He admits that he wasn’t even really attracted to New York, and wasn’t even sure if she was a woman for the first 5 episodes. HA! He shows off the stomach as he keeps his old name, and Daisy says that yeah, he is hot-but she has her guard up.

After naming the guys, she stresses out about having to get rid of 5 guys. She hates making decisions and says that “the whole having your own show thing? Way harder than I thought it was going to be”. She then goes out back for the mixer, and she first talks to Big Rig and Flipper. She asks them what brought them out here, and Big Rig says that his last relationship ended because the girl couldn’t keep her legs closed. Ahem. Cable Guy and Cage storm the table, and Flipper says the guys are acting like horny dogs who haven’t got laid in a couple months. They do steal Daisy away though, and she asks about Cage’s tattoos. On his arm he has tributes to his dead family members, except for his dad, who was in jail for all of the time that both he and Cage were alive. Daisy says that Cage is interesting because at first glance, you would probably run, but he seems to be a real sensitive guy who just needs a hug. She then asks Cable Guy if he has any tats and he says no-he stands out more for NOT being tatted. Meanwhile, Riki is talking to the Triplets and Dropout, and he asks them how serious they are. After some nonsense, Dropout says “they look like girls, but they’re men…I’d take them home”. The guys talk about how they are there for the fun and free booze. Fox then takes Daisy inside and she says that she is “ready to go”. He starts talking about how her name suits her very well, and she doesn’t really understand him but it doesn’t matter as they start making out. She is definitely very pleased. Chi Chi and Sinister pull Riki aside to get on his good side, and then they go to Daisy, who asks them if they have any good news. Sinister tells them about what Toolbox said and Daisy calls “total party foul” saying “I’m a Daisy, not a bitch!” She then goes aside with Toolbox and 6 Gauge and she confronts him about what he said. He says “it is what it is, I do what I do” and she obviously isn’t pleased, saying that if any guy talked to her like that his ass would be gone for sure. She is the one who calls the shots-and Toolbox hopes that what he said doesn’t ruin his chances with her. Riki then pulls her away, and she goes to have some alone time with Torch which is mainly her sipping on her drink with a crazy straw. Thankfully, Brooklyn makes the save and says that he is 1000% there for Daisy, and his hat is off to her “from Chris Casanova”. She says that all she learned about Torch is that he clicks like a dolphin, and he’s from Canada.

Flipper is talking with Cable Guy, and he has a lot of trouble getting her attention, so he goes up to Daisy who is with Chi Chi and Sinister, and he says that it’s hard with 19 perverts there, so to get her attention he climbs the scaffolding for the lighting unit and does a backflip into the pool. Daisy is scared at first but then says “Now I know why I called you Flipper!” and he gives her a hug, getting her all wet. Many of the guys, meanwhile, are getting VERY drunk. One is taking a piss and Weasel is dispensing the drinks. London, meanwhile, mixes multiple kinds of booze-and it starts to get blurry. He goes to the washroom to “grab his cigarettes” but ends up hurling in the sink, and on the floor. Daisy goes off with Dropout, Professor, and Flex next-she says that Professor and Flex are cute, and Dropout is a little weird. She asks Dropout to talk about himself and he says his name is Tristan but Daisy calls him Triscuit. He calls her “babe” which Daisy says is him trying to be so cool that he ends up being well, uncool. He thinks he did good, though.

Meanwhile, Flipper goes inside where London is passed out on the floor. He tries to wake him up and London says he is okay, but Flipper says it straight: “Dude, it’s the first night and you’re already puking all over the bathroom”. He then continues in confessional wondering if it’s a “who gets the most drunk” contest. He pulls out a whistle while they are in the closet but it does nothing. In the living room, Daisy is sitting on the pool table with one of the triplets and she asks them how long they have been in America. “Tree yeaars” one of them says, and she asks them if they do everything together. They say yes, of course-and in confessional, 86 says “She like one of us, she like all of us” and 85 says “cause we’re da saame guy, almost” Daisy asks them if she happens to like one of them, what will happen-and 85 says that she will like them too. She starts to get a little worried, because there’s three of them and only one of her. 12 Pack interrupts and comes in, calling the triplets “totally insane” and he says that he’s been thinking about this moment for the last three months-he can’t even believe he’s there. He says something that I can’t exactly pick up, but then he lays it out-he hit her up on Myspace after the first episode, where she wore the Smet hat in the VIP booth, and when he heard she was getting her own show he went out of his way to come. He says in confessional that he’s good-looking, fit, and smarter than half these brain-dead folks. He says he’s going straight to the top of the food chain but some of these other guys? “See ya!” He reiterates to Daisy that he is there for her, and she licks his nose. “That’s all you get”. She comments that he is a player, but so is she, and it’s gonna take a lot more than smooth talk to win her over. Riki then grabs Daisy and takes her over to Weasel, to ensure that she’s talked to everybody-but she can’t understand a single word he says, he’s so drunk. Daisy is trying to pull some answers out of him, and asks “Okay, drunk?” as Riki stands over his shoulder disapprovingly. Daisy asks him how much he’s had to drink and he says “2 bottles of Jack Daniels”. She hates how drunk he got, but “underneath his drunken mumbo-jumbo, there could have been an apology”. She then tells him to drink some water, and if he needs someone to hold his hair back, she might be there. Heh.

Before Daisy can decide who goes home, she needs to find London. (Yep, this is the Surreal Life house all right-you can tell because of the hallway) She goes inside and in the closet, she finds “London passed out on the floor like a crime scene”. She is not thrilled, as London realizes his mistakes, and she says probably the most quotable line this episode: “This is Daisy of Love, not I Love Liquor”. Daisy and Riki then go out back, where all the guys are assembled, and Riki says that Daisy has an announcement: there are some guys who could go, RIGHT NOW. You see, in this bunch, it’s easy to do that. Daisy is proving herself to be upping the game of these shows, and this doesn’t exactly feel like a spinoff-it feels really fresh. The first season of Flavor of Love, okay, it was a little rough around the edges, but Daisy knows what to do and what not to do. This is not the same Daisy who was on RoL2-she’s a lot less of a train wreck. She’s actually being edited as being loveable! Anyways, she interviews that she is truly there for love, and she doesn’t have time to waste on people who just won’t work. She then sends the triplets off, saying that they are adorable, but at this phase in her life, she wants love. In confessional, she says “Sharing them? EW!” She gives them a group hug on their way out and she hopes that they can all be friends. In the hug, one of them grabs her butt. “Before you go, you can take as much food as you want” Riki says, to the laughter of some of the other guys. They go after the food, and say they had fun-plus free food and free beers, as we see them leaving with PLATES of food. After they leave with a “We Love You Daisy!”, Riki asks the guys if they are having a good time-while he has a couple bottles of booze. Weasel says that now that 3 guys are gone, he feels safe and on top of the world. Riki then asks if they know what’s next and he says “Elimination! 2 more of you are going home”. As the crash sound plays, Weasel isn’t feeling so confident after all. After the announcement, he goes to his bunk bed, and passes out. Many of the guys see him there, and Cage jumps on his bed, hitting him with the pillow, yelling “WEASEL! WAKE YOUR ASS UP!” He, along with Sinister, 6 Gauge, and Big Rig, draw all over his face, to make him look stupid for elimination.

It’s elimination time! All 17 guys are assembled as Daisy comes out in a blue dress-and says “Weasel. I kinda have bad eyesight, but I’m not quite sure…what’s going on with your face?” and Riki says “Explain that, what’s up with your face?” as the guys snicker. Weasel asks “What’s up, man?” and as the guys laugh, Riki asks “Does he know?” and they, Riki included, all start laughing, except Daisy, who asks “You didn’t look in a mirror before you came out here?” and Weasel says “Not at all!”. Cage says that Weasel is standing there, barely able to stand, with crap all over his face…he’s definitely going home. Daisy says that two more of them are going home tonight, and the first chain goes to Fox, who she had an immediate connection with. The chain this time is a chain, with a pink and black nautical star. He is definitely flabbergasted as Daisy asks if he will stay and continue to be her rock star. He accepts, and says that it just gives him confidence that it’s going to be a landslide from here on out. I wouldn’t say THAT much…Flex gets his chain next, and he says that he’s here to stay. “The next handsome devil let me on in some interesting information about himself-maybe more than I wanted to know” and yep, 6 Gauge gets the next chain. Riki jokes that it would look pretty if he hung it from somewhere else. Heh…Chi Chi is next, which makes Sinister a little jealous, but he gets his chain right after that. Big Rig is next, and then Daisy has some bizzare questions about the next guy, but there is something cute and charming about him-so Flipper gets the next chain. He does a flip as he goes up to Daisy and lands on his ass, which gets him a 0.0 from Flex. Heh. He notes that it was very embarrassing, as many of the other guys laugh, and Daisy asks him to tone the crazy down before giving him the chain. 12 Pack gets his chain next, and Daisy still has concerns but really wants to get to know him better. Cage and Professor are the next two, while Tool Box sweats it out on the dais. Cable Guy gets his chain next, and as Daisy announces that there are only 4 chains left, Weasel looks over at the box and says that he’s going home. Brooklyn gets his next, followed by Tool Box, who Daisy wants to prove her wrong. Riki says that he doesn’t want to hear Daisy referred to as “one of the bitches”. In a confessional, Daisy says she let him stay because “he’s really frickin’ hot! Are you kidding me?” 2 chains left, 4 guys-Torch, Weasel, Dropout, and London. Dropout says it isn’t looking good. Daisy first talks to Dropout, saying that she thought he was an amazing person at first, and he is similar to many of the guys she normally goes for-but he may be a little too goofy, and he gets his walking papers. Daisy says she let him go because she wants someone hot and sexy-but he is more cartoon character. He is shocked that he is a goofball just for the dance-but that’s the truth. Torch feels confident because he didn’t make too much of an asshole out of himself, London feels like crap, and Weasel says he is a train wreck and a hot mess. Daisy says that Weasel seemed to be more in love with the bottle than her, London was instant attraction but found in a “crime scene” passed out, and Torch has a great style but he made the dolphin noises when they were talking. “Canada, SeaWorld, I dunno” she says, before calling Weasel down. Because he did try to make an effort, he gets another chance-but if he doesn’t step it up, he has to bounce. Weasel says “I got my pass and I looked at myself and said “Self, you need to get your shit together”". Torch is then called down next, and Daisy says that he didn’t light her fire. In an interview, she says she didn’t get his vibe and couldn’t even understand him. London is then called down, and says that the only rock star who is allowed to do that is her. He says that he will be kicking it up a notch, to make up for it. Riki goes and gets the flasks for the guys-and after toasting, he tells them to not be stupid. Sinister, meanwhile, says that he is going to work to get to know the guys better, because this is a competition. Spoken like a true champ, son.

Season preview: We see the beginning, and then 12 Pack getting his solo bed. He toasts to the challenge being as physical as humanly possible, and then we get his piece about Daisy. We see the MMA, with some unknown guys. We see the paintball, with Tool Box, Brooklyn, Cage, 12 Pack, and Fox. At the Knitting Factory music challenge, we see Flex and 12 Pack. Lots of fights-Cable Guy vs. Flipper, and other stuff. Plus Daisy fighting with some guys, and leaving elimination. Next week, the guys have to bring Daisy their talents. Weasel, in an attempt to make up for the night before, gives her the Marc Jacobs Daisy solid perfume ring, and then shows pictures of him doing street bikes and motocross, with the final picture being him in the hospital with a broken back. Daisy admires him for being so balls to the wall. Fox comes up with a rose…and then gives Daisy a vibrator. All the guys note the failure, especially Weasel, who questions “if his donkey-donk don’t work”. Heh.

Anywhoo…let the carnage begin.

18 Kids/Counting
This week was a sad episode, as the family deals with the passing of Grandpa Duggar. It’s an episode that proves key in the series, because it shows how the family deals with death. The thing I admire the most is that Jim Bob is not afraid to show emotion, and he does many times. I hate when men are forced to bottle up emotions, but I think a lot of men could learn from Jim Bob. The Bates family happened to still be there (this was early February-the memorial took place on Friday the 13th), and you can see a hilarious scene of some of the kids doing schoolwork while Justin and James and Jason are just being their goofy old selves, and then you have Johannah. It shows not only the tough stuff, like going to the funeral home and seeing the body, but it also shows the memorial service, which had the entire family-Anna included-singing, as well as a lot of humour. It ends with one of the older boys being a pallbearer for the burial. The way that they went about handling that sensitive subject, in my eyes, was very well done. And we get Cousin Amy, who loves the food. Next week is a Josh/Anna episode, as it shows them moving into their own house, going on their first vacation as newlyweds (to Florida, I presume, where they go to the beach, go parasailing, and more), and then Anna cooking for the entire Duggar clan.Dancing With the Stars
This week, the main story was that Melissa would not be able to compete-and at this stage in the game, it’s very detrimental. She had a hairline fracture of three ribs, and was in a lot of pain up until the last rehearsal, so she was given some pain meds that she had an allergic reaction to, and could not breathe. Her dances would have been the jive (which scored a 21 in rehearsal footage) and then the mambo team dance. Ty was told by Len that it was time for him to hit the road, while Gilles came back with a lindy hop and Kim came back with a PD. Team Mambo saw Lacey filling in for Melissa on 15 minutes notice and scoring a 25, with all the guys stripping to unitards (they were dancing to “Single Ladies”). Team Tango saw the guys taking off their shirts-both Gilles AND Ty-and getting a 28. However, Melissa was saved by the votes and Chuck is back to learn how to be manly. Next week, each couple dances one Latin and one standard dance-and with the dances remaining, Shawn has a tough week ahead considering that she WILL be doing either the AT or the PD, which are both very intense dances and I don’t know if she has the intensity needed.

Pitchmen
This week, we profile two new products: the DualSaw, created by a firefighter named Frederick, is a saw with two blades, one on top of the other, that rotate in opposite directions that can cut through diamondplate aluminum as well as cut a car in half. He spent several years developing the saw after seeing what can happen with the use of a conventional saw. The other product is the Shuffles floor mop, little booties that you put on your feet to mop the floor, and the creator has put her entire life savings into developing them. The DualSaw gets rave reviews right off the bat, and the main focus is going to be the testing as well as the construction of the set. Meanwhile Billy and Sully are not so sure about Shuffles, so they take it to have Sully’s housekeepers roadtest it, along with a few playful jabs by Billy. “Anyone have any long distance phone calls they need to make?…Sully wants his bed moved downstairs, just so you know…If anyone needs anything to eat, raid the fridge” The creator of the Shuffles wants near total creative control with the ad, however they are still not totally convinced, and even at the last minute she wants to make changes that are to her liking. A lot of drama goes down regarding the DualSaw, however in the end they get the infomercial done, complete with all the necessary spots-sawing the car open, Frederick sawing himself out of the box, and opening a safe-and to date the DualSaw had brought in over $5 million in revenue, and an aggressive ad campaign is going to be rolled out over the next six months. The Shuffles, however, are not so lucky, in that response to them was very soft-but she still wants to keep going. Tomorrow, the main product is the SharkStopper, so Sully gets in shark-infested waters in order to test it, but Billy makes it interesting/cruel by adding in fish.

Survivor
Just when you think you know what is going on, everything changes-this week was another game-changer. Sierra is on the outs for being the only other person to vote for Coach, and the verbal attacks she puts up with from both him and Tyson are appalling to watch-telling her to accept her fate that she will be the next one to go, among other things. Debbie and Erinn aren’t being much nicer to her. Stephen is sent back to Exile, where it is known that there will be no additional Idol. Taj, Coach, and Sierra are left back at camp. In the Immunity challenge, Coach, JT, and Stephen all decide to eat, while the rest slide discs. Sierra almost wins but Debbie barely squeaks by to win the Necklace o’ Feathers for the first time. Back at camp, they are trying to decide who goes, and Erinn brings up that Tyson would be a good person to get rid of, as he is a challenge threat and they may not get another chance. It will be harder to convince the guys though-and the best part? They don’t even really tell Sierra. She thinks that she is going home, so she isn’t too surprised to see 3 votes, but when the votes from Tyson add up she is the most surprised at all that she is getting another three days. This next week, it’s scramble time as Coach is at Sierra’s mercy.

In other news, there’s a lot of new shows and renewals. TLC has renewed Jon & Kate Plus 8, 18 Kids & Counting, Toddlers & Tiaras, and so much more. Travel Channel has renewed its two newest hits-Dhani Tackles the Globe and Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches-although I haven’t heard about Man vs. Food. TLC is airing a couple of new shows. First is Making Over America, starring Trinny and Susannah, the hosts of the British version of What Not To Wear, and second is Cake Boss, which goes inside a successful cake shop. VH1 is rolling out the shows as well. New York Goes to Work premieres on Monday night, with Charm School 3 to follow. Gotti’s Way season 2 premieres at 10:30 on Monday, for more goodness. Also Brooke Knows Best is back on the 7th of June, presumably to fill in the spot of Tough Love-and I have to say it will be a good follow-up to Daisy of Love. When that ends, we have Tool Academy 2 to look forward to, premiering in early August. Finally, there will be two new Dr. Drew projects-Celebrity Rehab 3 (of which DMX is a rumoured participant) and then Sex Rehab, which follows Dr. Drew trying to help rehabilitate sex addicts. No word yet on Trophy Wife, however I have a feeling that it will air in October, once Tool Academy finishes. Also Real Chance of Love 2 is casting, or filming-so look for that in the fall as well.

Guilin, China. First settled in 100 BC, it is known for its scenic beauty. The PS is known for the sun/moon pagodas.

Kisha/Jen, 1:48 PM. Fly to Beijing, China-home of 2008 summer Olympics. They have to make their way to a foot massage spa. They are going to move on from the whole drama regarding Margie and Luke-they’re over it.

Tammy/Victor, 1:49. They are glad that they have the geographical knowledge, the cultural and linguistic knowledge, so it can help them out. They go directly to a travel agent and get a 5:10 flight to Beijing on some southern airlines.

Margie/Luke, 1:50. Luke is not even going to talk to the sisters, saying that his focus is the game-so he can win and kick their ass. Heh.

Cara/Jaime, 2:12. Jaime says that they have never come in first yet, and slacking is not an option. The sisters are caught in traffic, while Margie and Luke get straight to the airport and get the 17:10 flight that Tammy and Victor got. Kisha and Jen pull up while Margie and Luke get to the counter-and it’s a tense reunion. Jen tries to get another person to help-and they get “the dumb look”. Kisha says they should be able to say “Me no speak English”-and when Margie tries to pay, they won’t take the international credit cards! The sisters head directly to the counter and do not respect the line. THEY DID NOT RESPECT THE LINE! Luke says “Game on” if they make the F3. Tammy and Victor get to the airport and go straight to the VIP lane, and say that they have to sit in the very front of the plane, or at least as far front as they go. The sisters figure it out as Cara/Jaime get there, to hugs from Luke. Tammy and Victor get in row 5 with the sisters in row 8. Tammy tells them to put Margie/Luke and the redheads in the far back of the plane. She also says that if they do not survive this leg, they will bring shame upon all Chinese people. The sisters walk away, as Margie and Luke brief the others on what happened. The sisters arrive to news that it’s negative degrees in Beijing, and Jen hates the small talk as they all fly out. Tammy and Victor get their cab first, while the redheads were stuck in the very last row. The sisters and Margie/Luke go for the cabs, and Luke accidentally runs over Jen. The redheads are the last ones out but they pass the sisters and then Margie/Luke. They feel bad about Margie and Luke, however.

Flashing Lights! Woo! Tammy says that she hates feet, and well, I’m not recapping her dialogue. It’s sick. She hopes she doesn’t have to massage feet. The sisters follow Margie and Luke, and the sisters do not take the exit, so they hope they’re going the right way. The redheads, surprisingly, get the first clue-a Roadblock! Who is manipulative? One person must take part in a typical curative. They must drink medicinal tea and then a 10-minute foot massage that walks the line between pain and pleasure. They then have to drink another cup of tea. Cara takes it-and she HATES foot massages. Oh yeah, if they cry uncle, they have to start over. The sisters are the next to find it, and Kisha takes it-Jen doesn’t want people touching her feet. Kisha hates the tea while Cara is about to cry. Jen and Jaime talk out in the lobby and Jen wonders if it is painful and Jaime says the whole uncle thing. It is hilarious to watch their expressions, it almost looks like childbirth. Kisha is biting her jacket, and the massages continue as Tammy takes the RB. Kisha says it should be illegal, and Cara says that having a baby would be easier than this. Tammy is very zen-and she said she was scared of massaging other people’s feet. This whole thing is very, very funny-so you just have to see it yourself.

And after the break, more massage! Margie and Luke finally get there, and Luke says he will do it. He signs to Tammy “Will it hurt?” and she says yes. Cara finishes and says “Have fun walking-it doesn’t feel good”. They have to make their way to an auditorium (Guand Cai Ti Yu Guan Bei Men You Yong Guan) to find their next clue. Kisha finishes next, and we see Luke’s painful blister. Tammy and Luke are holding hands, as Victor says that nobody has died from it. Tammy finishes her foot torture, as Luke has to bite his hat. Nobody knows where the auditorium is, as Luke’s massage continues and Margie says that SHE wanted to do it, but he butted in. Outside, it’s cab shuffle as Luke finishes, and Kisha says in her cab that there was nothing amazing about that massage. Heh. The others get cabs though, as Tammy says that she doesn’t want to get in a fight with Jaime. Meanwhile, Jen is extremely nervous because the task may have to do with swimming. It’s the redheads vs. Tammy and Victor, the latter of whom go directly to the north door-and it’s a Detour: Sync or Swim. Sync has them doing a 3m synchro dive. Swim has them suiting up in the Michael Phelps swimsuit and completing 200m of the IM. Tammy and Victor go for Sync, as Victor calls it Skimpyland. Tammy notes that she did not know how to swim before the race. Anywhoo, Kisha and Jen go for Sync because Jen is a bad swimmer and automatically thinks about drowning. Looks like that was the wrong choice. The sisters get suited up and note that it’s not as easy as it looks. The redheads, meanwhile, get to the box and they go for Swim. Tammy and Victor try again, failing, and yet again, also failing. Tammy doesn’t want to do it, but Victor says it’s better than the swim. Margie and Luke get there and immediately go for swim. Meanwhile, the sisters notice the height and Jen comes to the conclusion that she’s more likely to drown if she does Sync! They get up on the platform and immediately go to Swim, while Jaime takes the first lap. Both the sisters and Margie/Luke don the laser suits, and it’s tight. Kisha says they aren’t made for people with thighs like hers. Cara is NOT a good swimmer, as she just paddles back. Luke is insanely fast, while Kisha has no idea how to do it. “Mama still ain’t name her Grace” Jen notes, as Luke finishes the first 100 in less than 2 minutes. He notes that he has a LOT more respect for Michael Phelps after this. Jen says that she isn’t going to do this, as Cara jumps in to do the last 100 meters. Tammy and Victor, meanwhile, continue failing. Ah fun. More epic fails. Jen still is clueless, as Luke jumps in for his last 100 meters, and Margie can’t breathe with the suit. Kisha, meanwhile, has only done 50 meters, and hangs onto the ropes as Cara finishes and they get their clue-drive to the Pit Stop-the North Gate at the Drum Tower. Notice Phil says nothing about eliminations. Hmm…Luke is paddling back, as Margie goes in for her last 100, as the sisters go BACK to Sync. Margie and Luke finish in just over 8 minutes, and Margie wants to get that suit off. The redheads, meanwhile note that they have bad luck with the cabbies. Tammy and Victor continue to fail, as do the sisters, with Jen having a LOT of trouble swimming back. Margie and Luke note their great swimming after they get a cab, and Jen says they are NOT going again. They let Tammy and Victor go for the 20000th time, as they get a 4 and a 3. More FAIL. The sisters fail even more and Jen says that she doesn’t want to do this. Tammy and Victor continue to fail and decide to take a look at the clue again-and they switch to the relay. Jen, meanwhile, has a total meltdown. Tammy hops in the pool and does pretty respectably, while the sisters continue to fail. They note that they won’t be able to do it. Victor notes to Tammy that she did amazing, but she has to come back. Victor goes in for his first 100 as Jen has a total meltdown in the hallway-and she wants to go home. Marshall and Lance would be SO proud-which is not good. You don’t want to make those brothers proud. I do have to say though, you don’t mess with Luke but they shouldn’t fail THAT much. And honestly, you need to know how to swim before you go. Tammy finishes her second pass, as Kisha gets Jen back in the laser suit. Tammy and Victor finish in over 10 minutes, and go to the Pit Stop. Kisha just wants them to finish strong, and she gets Jen into the suit.

Meanwhile, the redheads are headed to the Pit Stop, and they think their cabbie knows where they are going. They hope that it works out for them. Luke notes how happy he is about the swimming challenge, and Margie says “See ya” to the sisters-tough on land, not in water. Victor, meanwhile, is cramping. Jen gets in the water with a life vest, and Kisha is proud for Jen working through it. She also wears a life vest with her, to show solidarity. Both of Victor’s legs are cramping and he can’t even put them in the car. Kisha finishes her second 100, as Victor is in immense pain. He eventually is able to get into the cab, as the windows are all fogged up. He also notes that he is very humbled because yeah, they have a communication advantage, but they are at the mercy of the cabbies and the tasks and such may not be to their advantage. Jen finishes her second 100, and she notes how glad she is that Kisha pushed her because otherwise, they would have let her quit. The redheads, meanwhile, are hoping that they can finally get their first place finish. They pull up to the Drum Tower and see a lone Phil. He tells them that they are first to arrive-HOWEVER…the leg of the race is not over. OH SNAP! You could just hear the collective “Oh shit” go through the room.

I do have to say, it is nice to have a TBC, although you just have a feeling there will be SOMETHING big next week. This is, on paper, one of the strongest F4′s ever. Kisha and Jen are athletically strong, Margie and Luke are very strategic, Tammy and Victor are good at communicating, and the redheads are always the bridesmaids, never the brides-always placing near the top but never truly winning.

Next week: More China! Victor, Margie, Jen, and someone else do an eating RB. Jamie and Cara, in full makeup, struggle with the language barrier.